Anytime you are part of a life where you move around a lot, you start to find out who your true friends are real fast. Some people just aren’t very good friends. You can spot them from a mile away. They rarely reciprocate kindness or reach out to you when you are struggling. They ignore your phone calls completely or cancel on you at the last minute.
On the other hand, when you meet an awesome military spouse, you just know she’s going to be a good friend to you. These are the friends you make that remain in contact after you PCS from duty station to duty station. These are the friends that stand out amongst all the other military spouses.
Here’s why:
They almost always say the right thing.
One of my friends is pretty amazing at this. Maybe it’s because she is a nurse and she is well-practiced at conveying empathy. Or maybe it’s just because she is an awesome person.
I was telling her once about a new mom, who was really just having a heck of a time adjusting and was struggling.
What she said…
“It’s the smartest moms who struggle the most because they are trying so hard to do a good job.”
Honestly, I can’t think of a more encouraging thing to say to a new mom.
And then there was this time my husband didn’t come home from work and I couldn’t reach him. I asked her if her husband knew where he was.
What she said…
“We don’t know. But I’m so sorry that you are worried.”
She could’ve just said “nope” but instead she empathized with my situation. And then an hour later she messaged me to see if I heard from my husband. I know it doesn’t seem like much, but part of being a good friend is doing little things for each other to show that you care.
These are just a few examples really. There are so many more examples of things other military spouses do to support another military spouse. When you meet an awesome military spouse, they just have this amazing ability to say the nicest things when you are struggling the most.
They are super easy to be around.
These types of spouses get along well with everyone. They fit into almost any situation. What I love most about being friends with an awesome military spouse is you can take them anywhere and know it will be a fun time. One of my friends is easily friends with everyone.
They listen.
When you are struggling or having a tough day, these military spouses really listen to what you have to say. They don’t try to school you and tell you to shut up and quit complaining or say bad things behind your back. They simply listen to what you have to say. Hey, we all need to vent a bit from time to time, and that’s what good friends do–they listen.
They are there when it really matters.
Sometimes in military life the s#!t hits the fan. Your car breaks down while your husband is deployed and you are stranded. Or your kid is extremely ill and needs to go to the ER in the middle of the night and you need someone to watch your other children at home. Or you have a baby while your husband is deployed and you need support. Or you just plain need a friend and a good laugh.
These awesome military spouses are there when you really need them, and they aren’t shy about letting you know.
They encourage you to call at 3 am when you are in a pinch.
They reach out when they sense something isn’t right.
They’re just good people overall.
If you ever find yourself lucky enough to have one of these awesome military spouse friends, go ahead and tell them so. Do something nice in return to let them know you care. Years down the road, when they are just a phone call away, you’ll be so glad you did.
Want more on military life?
- Why Deployment Meltdowns Are Actually a Good Thing
- 21 Long Distance Friendship Truths Only a Military Spouse Would Understand
- The One Phrase That Will Reconnect Your Military Marriage
- Manners for MilSpouses: 12 Must-Know Etiquette Rules of Military Life
Are you friends with an awesome military spouse? Let’s chat in the comments!
Kathryn H.
“I know it doesn’t seem like much, but part of being a good friend is doing little things for each other to show that you care.”
“The little things” aren’t so little after all! It amazes me sometimes how much a “small thing” someone did really meant to somebody! It’s so easy to make a person’s day with a small act of kindness. You never know for sure what someone is going through inside, and just a kind word can make all the difference.
Lauren Tamm
Yes! I couldn’t agree more 🙂
Melinda Rogers
I’m in a relationship with a gentleman in the military. We are both madly in love for 5 months and I’m wanting to learn how to completely support his emotions and feelings once he comes home. Can anyone help me?