I stood in my living room looking out the window when I saw her.
She was walking her golden retriever around the neighborhood, and I vividly remember—as if it happened this morning—seeing her bubbly brown-haired self and the dog walk past the front of my house in slow motion.
I was dealing with some major PCS anxiety because all I kept thinking was…This is the last time her and I are EVER going to live in the same city.
We had our few years of amazing friendship, and now, we had to part ways. The military was moving us in two completely different directions.
Military spouse friendships are different than any other.
They’re different because you are facing a unique set of life circumstances that other friendships don’t. Of course, most people experience long-distance friendships, and all the truths that come along with those relationships.
But, military spouses?
You know long distance friendships like Starbucks knows lattes; they’re you’re specialty. You know long distance friendships like ham knows salami. Like Bert knows Ernie. Like Florida knows sunshine.
I mean, this is the song of your people, and there are countless truths you know insanely well.
21 things you know about military spouse long-distance friendships
1. You have more long distance friends than most. In fact, the majority of your besties are faraway friends. This isn’t your first lap around the race track.
2. When you’re together, it’s a race against the military life time continuum.
3. You regularly have dreams of getting orders to the same duty station.
4. You wake up every morning to find out it’s not true.
5. When deployment comes around, you imagine them sitting right next to you.
6. And sometimes they do. On Skype. While watching True Blood.
7. When you text them at 2:00 am telling them that Murphy’s Law struck again, they reply at 2:01 am telling you they’re up for the same reason.
8. You have a lot of funny jokes about PCS moves that nobody outside of military life understands.
9. When you both get PCS orders to two totally different duty stations—AGAIN—you cry knowing it’s another 3 years before you have another chance to live near each other. And even then, it’s a slim chance.
10. You know the goodbyes of military life don’t just involve the service member and spouse.
11. You question why the galaxy would introduce you to such an amazing military spouse, only to keep you apart forever.
12. The more obstacles military life throws at you, the stronger your friendship grows.
13. When the homecoming date changes for the THIRD time, she’s the first person you call to commiserate with.
14. You laugh about the past times you lost your ID card, forgot your power of attorney, and conquered the base housing inspection.
15. In the middle of a crisis, you contemplate taking Space-A to their house.
16. You like and comment (multiple times) on every single homecoming photo they post on Facebook.
17. Together you are secretly plotting how you will live in the same city once your service members get out of the military.
18. Even when it’s not deployment, you’re still on Skype all. the. time.
19. You know that real besties know no distance.
20. The moment you reunite, you feel like you won the military life lottery.
21. In a strange way, you love military life. Because without military life, you never would’ve met.
This is important.
When military spouses come together and make long-distance friendships work, the community gets stronger—together. The lives of service members and their families are better.
This is what makes military spouses amazing. They come together in support no matter the distance.
When you prepare to say goodbye to your amazing friend, or you see the brown-haired girl with a bouncy pony-tail walking her golden retriever in slo-mo outside your window, or you can’t imagine starting over at another duty station, remember this…
Distance means so little when someone means so much.
Molly
I love this blog post! I’m so thankful for my military spouse friends! The bonds formed truly last a lifetime. I hate to leave friends when moving but I am always amazed how I can build amazing friendships wherever we go.
Elizebeth K Ponce
I am a Navy wife. How do I join your group?