I remember that time my car broke down in Okinawa and my military spouse friend was there to help me take it to the shop. And she loaned me a spare car for 3 weeks!
I remember that time I gave birth to a ten-and-a-half pound baby and our community of military spouses brought meals to our home for over two weeks!
I remember that time I was a military girlfriend while my service member was deployed and my military spouse friend took my anywhere I needed to go on base for 7 months.
Military spouses are amazing. They go out of their way to help out others they don’t even know very well. They are exactly what it means to be a good military spouse. They are resilient. They make amazing friends. But there are some things good military spouses do that I’m not going to do anymore.
1. Brave the commissary on payday.
I’d rather starve! One time I went to the commissary on payday and the line wrapped around the entire store all the way back to the produce section. The produce section! That is insanity. I’m no longer willing to stand in line for an hour to buy groceries.
2. Plan the perfect homecoming.
You all are amazing with beautifully designed homecoming banners, the best outfit to suit your figure, and the house sparkling and clean. I adore you for all those things. But I get so flustered by the time homecoming rolls around, I end up doing none of it.
3. Be incredibly patient waiting on orders.
I just want to know where in the world I’m going to live so I can start my PCS moving checklist. I’m a planner! Even if we are moving to nowheresville, please tell me so I can think about how I’m going to decorate my house and make it a home. It might even be an ugly house, but at least, it will be our ugly house.
4. Keep up with all the terms and acronyms.
First of all, why does everything need an abbreviation? To make military spouses go insane. I can’t keep it all straight. That’s why I keep my Modern Military Spouse eBook handy, so I can look it up on the fly. Problem solved.
5. Make military marriage look easy.
You know what they say…“Forget patient and kind, marriage is hard work.” Your marriage may have a beautiful ebb and flow that goes along with all the ups and downs of military life. Meanwhile, I’m over here in the corner trying to figure out how to make deployment and homecoming look seamless. So far, it hasn’t happened.
6. Stay calm when their ID card gets lost.
Don’t mind me. I’ll be freaking out for a moment. Between the social security numbers, the power of attorney and ID cards, I’m always stressing that I’m going to forget or lose one.
7. Make it through the deployment without an ugly cry.
I can’t help it. I need at least one night with a bottle of wine and Taking Chance to wallow in my deployment misery. If you need an ugly cry for 3 hours, I guarantee Taking Chance will make it happen.
Good military spouses, you are amazing, but I just can’t hack it. It’s time to come out of the closet and confess all the good things I’m not going to do anymore.
Want more on military life?
- 7 Myths About Military Life…Debunked
- 9 Relationship Truths Only a Modern Military Spouse Would Understand
- Military Girlfriend to Military Wife: One Important Lesson You’ll Never Forget
- Are Military Spouses Unknowingly Violating OPSEC?