Military ResourcesInside this post: Military base gate etiquette faux pas to avoid. Save yourself from an embarrassing moment at the military base gate.
Ah, the military base gate. To get onto base you have to pull up to the gate. Then you show your ID card to the security forces member. (Or MPs–military police.) (Or Daf guards, which are civilian police.)
It seems like a simple process and most of the time it is. You hold out your card. They take it. Look at it and/or scan it and then hand it back.
But…
I’ve had moments when embarrassing things have occurred because, well, it’s me.
Embarrassing things that happen at the military base gate.
1. I’ve dropped my ID card onto the ground when holding it out. Multiple times. Sometimes the person picks it up. Sometimes I get one that stares at me like, “Am I supposed to get it? Am I your personal servant?”
2. Handed over my credit card instead of my ID card. The MP was like, “Cool, thanks!” in a joking manner.
3. Smacked my hand against the window. I thought it was rolled down. It wasn’t. I was laughed at, naturally. And I hurt my hand.
4. Replied, “The cheese is great,” when asked, “how are you doing?” I’ve no idea why I said this. It was before I had any caffeine and well, I do think about cheese quite a bit.
5. Accidentally flung my ID card into the back seat. I had to actually pull over and find it.
6. Had a coughing fit and the gate guard looked at me like I was diseased. I tried to explain that I just inhaled some dust, but I was coughing so much and couldn’t get it out so yeah, he thought I was diseased.
7. Pulled up right when the “give it to me, baby!” part of Pretty Fly For A White Guy came on. I think the security forces woman thought I was coming onto her from the expression she had on.
8. Replied with, “I will after lots of Diet Coke and chocolate,” when asked, “Are you having a good day?” I think most expect the generic, “I’m good,” response.
9. I forgot to turn down my headlights and blinded everyone at the gate. They then told my husband that “dude, your wife totally blinded us last night!”
Do embarrassing things happen to you?
This post originally appeared on Airing My Laundry. Written by Amber Myers.
I think I win the embarrassing moment at the gate! I couldn’t find my ID right as I got to the gate guard. I pulled over in the waiting parking lot, found my ID and walked over to the waiting gate guard. I then get back to my car to find that it was locked and running with my two kids inside…. the gate guards had to call the fire fighters to break into my car while I stood there awkwardly with every. single. person. staring at me while they drove through!
I avoided going on base for 3 weeks after this happened. Let’s just say I need sleep to function. My husband and I live off base. He called me around 1:30AM, asking for me to hurry and bring him some of his gear. When I got to the gate I gave them my conceal carry permit card from another state instead of my ID. He laughed for a good 45 seconds or more. Then proceeded to ask if I had any weapons in the car. My reply, “I hope not, but this is not my car. It’s my husbands.” He laughed and gave me back my CCP asking for my ID card. I gave him the only other if I had with me, which thank goodness was my ID card. I did not realize what I gave him until my husband asked why I had my CCP sitting on the passenger seat.
1955 as M.P. worked main gate at USMC base Quantico, Va. we stood on 1/3 of a 55 gal drum. cut off painted White w/ Crimson striping. This was in center of I/S and we used it to direct traffic. As this was a M.C. Schools base we had a very very high population of officers from Lts to
Generals. The numbering system on the base plates gave us a quick indication of rank. One rush hour a colonels wife stopped and asked me if I had been directing traffic the prior day at a certain hour, No mamm. She asked me to convey her apologies to who ever it was as she had hit his barrel and almost knocked him off. I promised to convey her message. She then drove away, clipped my barrel and knocked me on my butt. She did not stop
My most embarrassing moment was when I went through the gate for the first after my husband made Officer (he did Seaman to Admiral) and he checked my ID And saluted. I didn’t know what to do, so I saluted back and he busted out laughing. I said, “why did you salute me?” And he said “I am saluting the stickers, basically. Is your husband an officer?” I had no idea because for years this didn’t happen. I know now, but it is still super awkward.