Military ResourcesI’ve never minded when my husband got orders, and we had to move. It meant we could start all over again. I mean, yes, having to pack everything is a pain and saying goodbye to friends is never easy. But the flip side meant we could explore a new place.
Having said that, I always worry my husband will get orders overseas, and I don’t want to go there again. We were at RAF Lakenheath for three years. I actually grew up in various Air Force bases overseas since my mother was in the military.
I was in Italy. Germany. Belgium. And don’t get me wrong, all those places were fantastic. I love history! I love to visit these places.
I just don’t want to live there.
A lot of people I’ve told this to think I’m crazy for not wanting to go back. “But it’s beautiful over there!” they’ll argue. Or I’ll get the whole, “You can travel cheaply!” Yeah, I know. But with my husband’s job, he doesn’t exactly get a bunch of leave to do this.
I really don’t want to go overseas again. And here’s why.
1. You hate being so far away from family.
I always worry something might happen. If something happens, it means we have to pay a lot of money for plane tickets to get back to the states. On top of worrying, I feel detached from everyone. They all continue with get-togethers and we can’t be there. Skype and Facetime helps, but it’s not the same. Not to mention having a baby with my service member while abroad…
2. The plane ride is too long.
I’m one of those people who hate to fly. Having to be in a tiny space for 8+ hours makes me nervous. I panic with every odd sound I hear.
3. You miss Target.
I know, I know. This is ridiculous. But I do. I love Target and no other store compares to it in my eyes. When we were in England I went to Tesco a few times, and it was lovely, but it’s not Target.
4. You even start to miss commercials.
When we were in England we had Sky TV and I started to miss the silly American commercials. Growing up when I was overseas I had AFN commercials, which are incredibly cheesy. (Seriously. Look up AFN commercials on YouTube.)
5. The conveniences of the States feels more like home.
I enjoy being able to walk down the street and finding a store or a place to eat. If you’re driving and miss a turn you can easily get off at the next exit. In England if you missed a turn you had to drive for what seemed like forever to turn back around.
6. It seems dangerous to be overseas these days.
I know not ALL places are like this. And I know there are places in the United States that are dangerous. (You always hear about shootings here too!) But when I hear about bombings and shootings in cafes over there, it worries me.
7. Some people automatically hate Americans.
This can happen even if you haven’t done a thing wrong.
I didn’t like the mean looks we’d sometimes get. I wanted to say, “I’m a nice American, I promise!” Granted, most people were friendly if you were friendly or attempted to speak their language, but some immediately thought, “Here’s some rude Americans!”
8. Mail takes forever to get there.
I’m impatient. I like getting my mail two days later.
9. Some places won’t even ship over there.
Since I’m a blogger, sometimes companies will send me stuff to review. But some companies are unable to send to PO Boxes or to an overseas address. This impacts my work. Yes I could have it sent to my parents and they could send it to me, but sometimes that could take too long.
10. You miss out on all the new foods that come out.
You know those new Oreo flavors? I need those. New soda flavor? Yes please. The commissary doesn’t always get stuff like that. Again, I could have people send stuff to me, but again, I am rather impatient.
Obviously if my husband got orders overseas I’d suck it up and go. But I’m hoping our current base is our final base. However, I’ve learned a long time ago that the military likes to surprise you.
So I guess we’ll have to wait and see.
Do you like being overseas?
Amber Myers is a proud military wife and mother to two kids who drive her to eat lots of chocolate. She blogs over at Airing My Laundry. You can find her on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest.
Wow! It’s like you know me! Seriously all the things I miss! Well, it is pretty safe here(okinawa, Japan) to the point where I’d be fine with letting a local holding my kid if I need help. Some people just don’t get that this doesn’t mean that we are always negative nancies about being overseas. I absolutely love it here and know I will miss it to death but I’m also very excited to get back home. And I know of other wives that just sit at home all day and pretty much just revel in their loneliness and hatred for the place. We have taken advantage of the many places this beautiful island has for us to travel to and it’s been soooo fun. But there’s just no place like home. I think it’s just fine to be patriotic about your home country, that’s why we are all here, right?! Awesome blog post!
“…he doesn’t exactly get a bunch of leave to do this”. Umm… doesn’t your husband get 30 days of leave per year, like literally every single other member of the military? That should give some time for exploring, I’d think.
About that, anyone in the military knows mission comes first. Leave can be rescinded or cancelled with nearly no notice and not just for deployments. Also, it is not like that leave can be taken in one 30 day block. For most military members they are told when to take it; it is called “block leave.” The most my spouse has ever been “allowed” at one time is two weeks. You have to put in for it months in advance and make sure you have someone else cover your job and that no one else is taking leave. And, by the way, the 30 days includes weekends and any holidays that fall during the time you request your leave. What often happens to spouses is they end up booking trips that they can cancel last minute, and if there are none, they will make a hard choice: go anyway without their spouse or just stop planning trips and stay home. I’m the former, but I very much understand the latter.
You make a lot of excellent points. I have been living overseas for five years now, in both Germany and Japan, and there are both positive and negative aspects to it. Many people already know the positive aspects but there are many things that people may not realize until they are overseas without the help for blogs that outline people’s personal experiences.
I do not care as much about the length of the flight home but the price is insane. If you need to be home in a certain time frame you cannot count on a space available flight. Buying tickets for four people costs a small fortune.
It also is not feasible to come back for every major family event so you end up missing a lot of weddings, graduations, births, birthdays and funerals. As you stated, Skype and FaceTime just are not the same.
Additionally, every working spouse is competing in the same shallow job pool because they cannot find many jobs off base without speaking the native language fluently. So it can be difficult to find an open position that pays above minimum wage much less something that will help the spouse with their own career goals. Granted it’s only temporary but it can be a negative aspect for some.
Keep up the great work!
I definitely agree with some of these things. One other thing that bothers me is having to uproot myself from employment and risk not being able to work and keeping what made me who I was before marrying someone who’s in the military. I also don’t like not having the liberty of going to school in an actual school. Going online sucks but the military would rather build more restaurants and movie theaters, not to mention mall wide commissaries than provide an actual school.
Man…. people are harsh on your post! I 100000% feel the same way. Pretty much every point you brought up is why I have zero interest in going back overseas. We were also at lakenheath and while I loved the travel, I am not interested in going back overseas. I like my American conveniences and I’m not ashamed to admit it!!!
Completely agree with you! Some people just don’t get it and everyone is allowed to have an opinion. We are currently stationed in Misawa Japan and it’s the worst for me. I hate the food. Produce is ridiculously expensive! A watermelon will cost you 20 US dollars I once saw one for $40. Plane tickets are expensive and traveling within the country is also expensive. That’s why I have given up and don’t bother to go anywhere. Japanese clothes are super tiny and you have to be in a big city to be able to go to stores like h&m and forever 21. Misawa is so remote with nothing to do other than go look at something I once drove 3 hours and paid 60 dollars in tolls just to look at a shrine. Most in my opinion look the same. Being pregnant overseas isn’t fun either all the food I crave is no where in sight, finding maternity clothes is nonexistent, cribs can only be bought from the base furniture store (I didn’t want a Japanese one), I paid over $200 dollars more for a stroller and car seat because I couldn’t buy it as a set because it won’t ship apo. It was annoying having to spend $10,000 dollars on Japanese cars that are so old. It took 3 flights and a bus to make it back home in the states, with the long flight being 13.5 hours. Oh yeah finding a job is super hard, there are some but why should I do a job I don’t like just because it’s the only thing available. Seriously hate this place and hope to never go overseas again. Living in the USA makes everything much easier. I definitely appreciate being able to go to a Wal Mart or a target.
Wooooow! (Cue blank stare at the screen.) I am absolutely shocked and appalled at how horrid some of the comments are on here. Like…yeah…just shocked…disgusted and really saddened.
No idea how old this post is but-Amber, my friend, I agree with you, girl! Thank you for sharing what many of us feel! I love to travel the globe but there is no place like home in the end.
Sorry these shameful-cowards and bullies above have chosen to be so cruel with their words. Smh