75+ Swoon-Worthy Open When Letters Your Boyfriend Will Obsess Over

This ultimate list of 75 open when letters, topics and ideas will keep your long-distance boyfriend missing you 24/7.

Several years ago I was a military girlfriend. My service member boyfriend was preparing to deploy to the Middle East.

I was frantic, young and deeply in-love.

When you want to be with someone literally every second of every day, long-distance relationships can feel devastating.

This is especially true when your loved one is traveling to an area where you don’t know if you’ll be able to communicate very often.

stack of written letters with cut out red paper heart on top

I choked back tears compiling a list of open when letters that I would tuck in my boyfriend’s backpack right before he left on a seven month deployment.

Crafting each letter and idea felt therapeutic and comforting, knowing that he would be able to read something from me even when he couldn’t receive mail, talk on the phone or use a computer.

Favorite Open When Letters for Your Boyfriend Long-Distance

It was only after his first deployment ended and my boyfriend returned home that he shared how much the open when letters meant to him.

The letters can offer a laugh on a really hard day, a touching story about a memory only you share together, an affirmation of how you feel about him and so much more.

But first, what is an open when letter?

Open when letters are basically a group of pre-written letters that you give (or send) to your boyfriend to open at a specific date and time, holiday or occassion in the future when you are separated.

The point of the open when letter is to help you feel connected when you cannot be physically together (or perhaps even talk on the phone).

Give them all at once with directions (or “rules”) on when to open.
Place them inside a care package.
Mail them in intervals.
Include inside a gift (perfect for bootcamp graduation gifts)

If you have a boyfriend in the military, these are perfect to send during deployment or bootcamp!

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Open when letter rules.

It seems funny to me that there are actual rules on the internet about using open when letters.

Too many rules can be annoying and a bit stifling.

If your boyfriend wants to open all the letters at once, he could certainly re-read them often. But if he wants to follow the rules, and space them out, it can be a more fulfilling experience.

You can make up ANY rules that you want for your own open when letter exchange.

That being said, here are a few common rules that others like to use:

Start with an “open first” letter (contains your rules and instructions for the letters)
Absolutely no peeking inside the letters.
Only open 2 letters per week (to help the letters last over a specific period of time you will be separated).
Guard the letters with your life (I mean, obviously you don’t want random people reading your personal letters).
Only open a letter on the specific occassion written on the envelope.

Open When Letter Topic Ideas for Your Boyfriend

You can make up any reason or topic for an open when letter, but here is a huge list of ideas to get you started.

Romantic and intimate topics

These topic ideas keep the burn alive, and I guarantee you then get opened first and re-read multiple times.

you wake up thinking of me
you want to know what drives me crazy
you want to know what I find super sexy about you
you want to know what I love most about you
you want to know something you do to me that I love most
you want to know what I’d do if we were together right now
you’re feeling romantic
you need to know how much I love you
you want to know what I first thought when I met you
you’re feeling turned on

Experiences / Experience Related Topics

before you go to sleep
after you wake up
you’re eating breakfast (or any other meal)
before you shower
you’ve had a rough day
you’re feeling sick or ill
one week after you left
one week before you come home (or before we meet up)
something exciting happens
you first get to your destination
it seems like we are drifting apart
we fight on the phone
you’re missing me something fierce
you want a kiss
you wish I was there
you’re at the airport
you want to talk on the phone, but we can’t
you want to fall asleep next to me
you need to see my face
you need to see a picture of us
you can’t sleep
you need words of encouragement
you’re celebrating something
you need help making a big decision
you need a confidence boost
it’s a rainy day
it’s a cold day
it’s a sunny day
you need inspiration or motivation
you’re thinking about the future
you’re upset with me
you’re packing to come home / see me
you remember our first date
you remember our first trip together
social media ruined your day
you receive some bad news
you receive some good news
it’s halfway through our separation
you want to reminisce
you think you’ve made a bad decision
you finish a workout
you want to watch your favorite movie
you want to stay in bed all day
you don’t feel valued

Holidays, Birthdays, Anniversaries

Besides the obvious, I also included some unique occasions for couples. Some dates change year-to-year, so be sure check out your current year’s relationship holidays.

Valentine’s Day
St. Patrick’s Day
Kiss and Make Up Day
Honesty Day
Memorial Day
National Say Something Nice Day
National Loving Day
National Kissing Day
Independence Day
National Couples Day
Labor Day
National Sweetest Day
National I Care About You Day
Halloween
Veterans Day
Thanksgiving
Christmas
New Year’s Eve
New Year’s Day
Birthdays
Anniversaries

Sports Related

Favorite sport season starts or ends
Sports season playoffs starts or ends
Remembering favorite sports moments from favorite team
Open when watching favorite sport game
Open before attending favorite sporting event
Your team loses
Your team wins

All the Feelings

Open when you’re feeling….[insert specific feeling from below].

You’ll write this letter as if they just said to you, “I’m feeling this right now.”

Start with lots of empathy and validation (e.g. walk around in their perspective) and follow with actions and observations you’ve seen them use to overcome / celebrate feeling that particular way in the past.

Anger
Disgust
Envy
Exasperation
Irritation
Rage
Torment
Fear
Panic
Nervousness
Joy
Cheerfulness
Content
Enthrallment
Optimism
Pride
Relief
Zest
Love
Affection
Longing
Lust
Passion
Sadness
Disappointment
Neglect
Sadness
Shame
Suffering
Surprise
Amazement

Military specific topics

you left on deployment today
you’ve been deployed a week
you’ve been deployed a month
you’re burnt out on deployment
you miss home
you’re going out on an important mission
we haven’t been able to talk in a long time
you want comfort food from home
you need a hug from me
you’re tired of eating MREs
It’s Veterans Day
It’s Independence Day
you really need a shower
you had a bad day and want to rant
you just got off the phone with me
you’re not getting along with another service member
your boss just yelled at you
you’re tired of writing reports
you’re coming home in one month
you’re packing up your gear to send home
you’re coming home in one week
it’s the day you’re returning home

(Add in one of these motivational military quotes!)

What to put inside your letters (beside the letter)!

If all you want to put in your letters is the actual letter, that is perfectly fine. Sometimes though, you want to add a little something creative or extra.

Here’s some ideas to help you get started:

Glitter (Think NYE, birthdays or other holidays) or confetti
Lipstick kiss
Photos of yourself
Photos of you together (photoshop for extra cuteness…see below)
Photos of future places you’ll visit together
Maps, very small trinkets or magazine cut outs that are clues of places you’ll visit or things you’ll do together upon his return
Number one button (for sports, celebrations or birthdays)
Sports stickers or paraphernalia (for sport events, topics listed above)
Drawings (e.g. fireworks for 4th of July)
Jokes or knock-knock jokes
Gum
Bag of tea
Starbucks Via Packet
Gift card for his favorite place
Movie tickets
Favorite scent / perfume sprayed on cloth (inside little Ziplock bag)
Tissues for a sad letter
Any little gifts you can think of
Love quotes
Missing him quotes
Goodbye quotes
Bible verses

Example of an open when letter for your boyfriend

It would be impossible for me to accurately provide you with a pre-written letter for your long-distance significant other.

The most powerful letters will contain your unique and authentic experiences together. Your inside jokes. And your embarrassing moments.

That being said, there is a basic formula I would follow when writing a letter.

One way to start is with an “open loop.” This is basically a teaser that keeps them reading until the end, and they are able to close the loop. This is how novels are written to keep the reader engaged 🙂

“I heard the funniest joke last week. More on that in a minute. But first, I wanted to tell you about…”

“There was a small disaster yesterday. More details to come.”

“I was thinking of you when I went to sleep last night. You’ll never guess what it was.

2. For any of the topics above, you can start with a story about something you did together in the past or plan to do together in the future!

For example for a letter titled “Open When It’s a Rainy Day,” start with something like…”Remember that time it rained for three days straight on our first weekend trip to the beach?!”

3. Add in a joke, quote or Bible verse that you both relate to.

4. Share an update on how you are doing.

5. Always end by closing your “open loop” you started at the beginning of the letter.

Want more on long distance relationships?

Long distance military relationship tips?

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75+ Swoon-Worthy Open When Letters Your Boyfriend Will Obsess Over