Man, when I first became a mom I had all these grandiose ideas about how parenting was really going to go for me. I think it’s normal to feel that way. You know? That everything will turn out “just so” and you will be able to enjoy the fruits of your masterful parenting skills.
You adore parenting books and read as many as you can get your hands on. I totally relate to that. I actually love parenting books, and thank goodness for them because I’d be in even more trouble without them. But let’s face it, parenting isn’t always by the book. It’s more like by the book with a twist of lime and some hot sauce.
Here are 8 things I swore I would never, ever do…until they actually happened:
1. Carry my tantruming toddler around like a sausage under my arm.
Oh yes, I’ve talked about this many times before. It’s no secret around here that my son thinks he’s 2 going on thirty. He wants to do all the things mommy does, which is awesome, unless you have somewhere to be on time. Then the meltdowns ensue and before you know it you are carrying your toddler around under your arm like a sausage. In fact, I’ve gotten so good at this that it doesn’t even phase me anymore.
I used to worry what people staring at me were thinking. Now I know that if they have kids, they’ll understand. And if they don’t, well hopefully they’ll understand.
2. Give my kid goldfish and a fruit cup for lunch.
Motherhood is just mentally exhausting sometimes, so there are days when I throw a haphazard lunch together. I know some people are going to think I am a bad mom for giving my son processed food. There is a whole war about fruit cups going on that you probably already know about. So I’m not going to even share that sometimes we have mac and cheese too…with the powdered cheese package.
3. Look the other way when my child is doing something naughty.
Of course, it is way better to correct the behavior right away. However, I often feel that my poor toddler is tired of me telling him to stop this and that all day long. And quite frankly, I’m tired of telling him too. So yeah, looking the other way every now and again not be the worst thing in the world.
4. Be the parent who can’t leave their kid for a few days.
Leaving your kids with another caregiver is hard! Even when you trust the other person, it’s just not that easy to walk away for so many reasons. I’ve been gone for one overnight in two years…oh well. I’ll get plenty of alone time when I’m dead?
5. Be the parent who doesn’t take enough date nights.
I’m a huge advocate for investing in your marriage and taking time alone with your spouse. So, so important. Also, not as easy as it looks. We aim for date nights once a month…sometimes we meet that goal and other times we don’t.
6. Yell and lose my temper over something that I really shouldn’t.
It’s easy to be the most patient person in the world when you aren’t in the thick of it 24/7. A few hour break to myself and my patience goes on forever and a day. However, when the days get long, it’s a lot easier than one would think to lose your temper and yell.
7. Hide in the bathroom so I can go eat some dang chocolate in peace.
Sometimes chocolate is just vital to surviving the day. Sugar does make me feel better, I don’t care what anyone says about it being evil and bad for your health!
8. Use a $600 iPhone as bribery so my child will stay quiet while I’m hiding in the bathroom trying to eat some chocolate.
Yes. I’m hanging my head in shame. But sometimes when you are at your max and you just need a break, you are willing to do just about anything. This includes bribery with incredibly expensive devices that children probably shouldn’t have.
So there ya go! I’m clearly in the top running for mother of the year 😉 Is anyone else with me?
Print this free toddler listening checklist.
This post comes with a free printable checklist to help with toddler listening. I always have the hardest time remembering these phrases. This printable simplifies it!
Here is a sneak preview…
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- Download the checklist. You’ll get the printable, plus join 20,000+ parents who receive my weekly parenting tips and ideas!
- Print. Any paper will do the trick, but card stock would be ideal.
- Place it on your refrigerator. Check things off as you go and don’t forget a thing!
Want more on parenting?
- The Secret Only Moms of Toddlers Really Know
- 10 Empowering Ways to Improve Toddler Listening
- 9 Phrases that Change Life with a Toddler
What’s your best first-time parent mishap? Let’s chat in the comments!
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