I think we are all desire a drama free military life. We hear it time and time again: military spouses are filled with drama.
Whether you are a new or seasoned spouse, I’m guessing you’ve experienced some drama in your own military life. Nobody likes it, yet it continues to sneak its way into our lives.
You might find it at a spouses group, the commissary, or even on base housing. Spouses start arguing, and it quickly snowballs into epic drama.
It doesn’t have to be this way. If you are looking to minimize the drama in your life, consider these crucial steps:
1. Pretend you’re on TV.
Whenever I find myself getting sucked into a bad situation, I almost always think about being on public television. Would I be proud of how I was portrayed or would I be embarrassed? If you need to have dramatic moment, do it in the comfort of your own home with a close friend or family member, rather than around groups of people.
2. Walk away.
See an argument break out or feel like a conversation is headed in a negative direction? Simply avoid adding to the conversation and walk away. If I a hear spouse bad mouth another spouse behind her back, I ignore it.
Take it a step further fight the urge to immediately tell the person, who was the subject of the conversation. First, it usually only makes the person feel bad. So unless there is some sort of necessary reason to share, I don’t. Second, it only adds fuel to the fire, encouraging fighting and division within the community.
3. Evaluate your own contribution.
If I see drama, I literally don’t share these stories with anyone. This only fuels the fire, encourages others to talk more about drama, and perpetuates the stigma. One other thing to keep in mind is to avoid sharing secrets. If a friend confided in you, don’t share this information with others. Again, if I were on TV would my actions make me feel proud or embarrassed?
4. Change your perspective.
When I’m feeling dramatic, I always ask myself, what are others dealing with in other parts of the world? There are people in parts of the world running for their lives without access to a safe home, clean water, and many other basic necessities. What’s going on in my life is pretty small pennies compared to others.
5. Evaluate unhealthy relationships.
One of the biggest reasons drama hangs around is because we allow it. If you have a friend, who is tipping the drama scale, you can first try being direct and honest. Simply share that you are eliminating all the drama and gossip in your life, and share the steps you are taking to achieve your goal. Sometimes that is enough to deter others from being dramatic around you.
If that isn’t enough, it’s very likely you will need to start distancing yourself from that person. Slowly decrease your interaction with that person, and they will get the memo.
6. Be nice to one another.
Finally, the best way to attract nice, drama-free people into your life is to be nice and drama-free yourself. Be kind and polite to others and the results may surprise you.
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