MilSpouse Life
You might hear this infamous stereotype time and time again—military spouses are lazy, uneducated, and by the way, they never work. It’s kind of irritating actually. Especially if you are a spouse, like most are, who is hard-working and supports her family equally as much as her spouse.
There are a lot of reasons why military spouses are both unemployed and under-employed, meaning most military spouses take jobs in which they are over-qualified because they cannot find work to match their skills.
Many of these lies and truths will resonate with you if you are a military spouse. They are after all based on a 2013 survey taken by military spouses. And if you are not a military spouse, I hope this post can shed genuine light on the real issues military spouses face in today’s job market. I hope these reasons help educate others and encourage us all to unite and find more reasonable solutions to this chronic issue.
Lie: Military spouse jobs are easy to find after moving.
Truth: Many military spouses are frequently out of work due to preparing for or recovering from a military PCS move.
I cannot tell you how many military spouses I know who found great jobs in their local area, worked hard, made advancements, and then had to quit a year or two later due to a PCS move. With each military mandated move, military spouses are forced to start over in the job market. Looking for work in a specialized field of work takes time and energy.
Recently, a friend left her job as a nurse one month before a PCS move. Following the PCS she worked hard to find employment and landed a job within a few months. The problem is the government agency took over 6 months to complete her hiring process. This is the norm for many government agencies. So from the time this spouse left her job until she officially started getting paid, we are talking 9 months. That’s crazy when you realize she will likely move again within 2 years of starting the position. A 9 month gap in employment is a long time for a military spouse with an education and excellent work experience in a job market that has openings. What does the employment gap look like for spouses with less than ideal circumstances?
Are you a small business owner, a marketing manager, a cosmetologist, a financial planner? These jobs provide limited positions and make it challenging to get hired after moving around from duty station to duty station.
Lie: Military spouses use their service member’s job as an excuse not to find work.
Truth: Military spouses cannot find work flexible enough to accommodate their spouse’s schedule.
A 2013 study discovered “there is not a lack of desire to work that is causing these gaps; over 55% of respondents indicated they “need” to work, while 90% indicated they “want” to work.” (Source).
I believe that most military spouses would love to work if the right circumstances presented themselves. Like many military spouses, I gave up my career to stay-at-home full time. Given the stress that my husband’s military career puts on our family, we agreed together that having one spouse home full-time to manage the children, the household, and all of our general life affairs was imperative to our long-term happiness. Many military spouses want to be able to stay home and care for their children because it’s what is best for the whole family, not because it’s easier than working at a conventional job.
Lie: Military spouses get hired equally as much as civilians.
Truth: Military spouses actively seeking employment experience countless challenges.
Many organizations are ambivalent over hiring military spouses, knowing they won’t be around for long. It’s plain and simple: Companies want to invest in long-term employees in in order to avoid costly expenses associated with high employee turnover.
In addition, many organizations are reluctant to hire prospective employees with short employment stints and gaps in unemployment all over their resume. Military life takes the everyday career woman’s resume and makes it look shady.
“In 2012, 18-24 year-old Armed Forces female spouses had the highest unemployment rates at 30 percent (which is almost three times higher than their civilian counterparts at 11 percent). 25-44 year-old Armed Forces female spouses had the second highest unemployment rates at 15 percent (almost three times higher than their civilian counterparts at 6 percent).” (Source)
Lie: Military spouses don’t make an effort to obtain an education.
Truth: Military spouses struggle to obtain an education more than civilian counterparts.
There are so many military spouses who leave college behind to PCS with their service member. With frequent mandatory PCS moves, many military spouses leave behind countless college credit hours. Some leave college behind altogether, while others frequently start over at a new university.
The biggest problem is often that a military spouse cannot complete a degree at a given university or college before it’s time to PCS again. At this point, spouses often leave a university, transfer as many credits as possible, and start again. It’s incredibly frustrating that credits do not transfer from university to university. A military spouse may take a class over and over again, despite passing on the first go around.
Nowadays, many military spouses are turning to online college degree programs to better meet their needs. This is a great option for spouses coping with frequent moves, but at the same time, it’s unfortunate that spouses are not able to enjoy a traditional university experience.
Lie: Military spouses turn down jobs they think are beneath them.
Truth: Military spouses cannot find work that match their skills and education.
Even after obtaining an education, it’s still be a struggle to find job. 90 percent of working military spouses report being underemployed. This means that military spouses possess more formal education/experience than needed at their current or most recent position.
Moving from duty station to duty station it’s challenging to find work in a niche specific area. And if you think all military spouses should just go work at just any under-paying job that comes their way, then you might as well say service members should get out of the military and go work at Banana Republic.
Even more discouraging is finding jobs at OCONUS duty stations. At our current overseas duty station, qualified local citizens are given hiring preference over equally qualified military spouses. So even if someone wanted to argue that military spouses should just go work at the PX, I can confidently tell you that at some duty stations that is not even an option. Those jobs are already filled and offered to local citizens.
What needs to be done?
Military spouse unemployment and under-employment is an issue deeply rooted in the military community. This is not an individual military spouse issue in my opinion. Here are a few realistic solutions that I believe could make a huge improvement for military spouses across the board:
- Decrease the frequency of PCS moves.
- Offer greater resources for military spouses to obtain an online education that will transfer from duty station to duty station.
- Offer greater employment placement assistance for military spouses.
- Offer more military spouse jobs through government agencies that are work from home and transfer from duty station to duty station.
- Increase access to childcare, offering flexibility for military spouses with unconventional working hours.
- Increase military spouse hiring preference for government jobs.
Want more on military life?
- 43 Awesome Tips Every New Military Wife Needs to Know
- The One Phrase That Will Reconnect Your Military Marriage
- 18 Ways Military Life Changes You for the Better
- 7 Myths About Military Life…Debunked
What do you think is the real reason military spouse unemployment is so high? Let’s chat in the comments!
Thank you for writing this wonderful article Lauren! 🙂 I honestly did not understand the huge obstacles military spouses face with employment until I experienced it first hand with our overseas move. It’s very frustrating and also discouraging that many people wonder why you just don’t take any job. I was offered a government job at the 3-month mark of our overseas PCS, but the pay was 30% (!!!) of what I was making state-side. Of course I ran the numbers (lol) and after expenses I would be lucky to be making $20/day and we don’t have children so I can’t even imagine if we had to factor in child care expenses.
Yes, before we had kids, I left my job in the Midwest and moved to be with my now husband. I was able to find work on the east coast, but similar to you, it was a 50% pay cut. I had worked so hard to work my way up at my first job, that finding a new job basically meant starting over for me. Thanks so much for sharing your perspective. It’s an important one!
I think you touched on the biggest reasons. Job flexibility is huge. Not just because of the service members schedule, but if there are children. Child care is mostly during those traditional working hours in a world where work could happen at any time. Spouses must secure not only traditional care, but trusted care beyond that. I’ve worked while my husband has deployed or on a long TDY and I was lucky I had established enough of a relationship with someone who could take my son when I myself had to work on a weekend. I was lucky when I had to stay at home with him because he was sick that I could make up some working hours another day…a longer day. …but the little flexibility helped a great deal and not many employers offer flexibility in working hours period!
Yes, as a nurse that is one of the reasons I am not working. Jobs are only offered full-time and typically involve a day/night rotation with 12 hour shifts plus a 45 minute commute. It’s a lot to manage when my husband is gone for work. There really aren’t much childcare options available to me, outside of finding a nanny, which is typically far more expensive than traditional daycare. For us right now, it’s more trouble than it’s worth.
Great post! When I married my husband and moved to NC to be with him, I had just completed a degree in business and had a very extensive resume so I figured I’d have no problem finding a job. WRONG. In the first four months, I went through three different jobs. I finally found a good, stable job about five months after I moved here, but it wasn’t even in the career choice I wanted. My degree has literally been hanging on my wall ever since I got it because I can’t find a job where I can actually use it! It’s crazy! The moment an employer finds out I’m a military spouse, their first reaction is wondering how long I’ll be around and I never have a straightforward answer for them! Finding a job has definitely been a challenge as a military spouse!
Yes, yes, yes! This is so important that you share your perspective. I relate so much to everything you are saying. It’s not easy to find and a job, and despite claims for equal opportunity employment, I do think organizations discriminate against military spouses.
Keating, I’m with you. As a graphic designer, I have absolutely no opportunities within a 50 mile radius of our post (and they said I could go ANYWHERE with my degree. Yea right.). I was able to transfer with my current employer but it’s a 150 mile round trip, 5 days a week. Just the drive to work in the mornings takes me 2 hours. At the moment we do not have kids but when we do decide to start our family, there is no way I’ll be willing to spend THAT much time away from them! I don’t mind taking a job that’s not within my career field or even at my educational level, but when I was applying to places, it took 4 months to hear a reply from ONE company… With both our student loans and other bills, there is no way we’d be able to survive on just my husbands pay yet congress continually cuts funding to our military to where there’s a 1% increases (woot, $10 a month!), depressing our BAH, etc. Fun.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience, Natalie. All of the comments for this post help showcase what an issue this is within the community. Part of the reason I have opted not to work after kids was because my nursing job was 12 hours shifts with a 1 hour commute each way. So with 14 hour days, it was just a lot especially when my husband was gone about 50 percent of the time. I think the amount of time it takes to find work after a PCS is so concerning considering that spouses will again move perhaps as short as a year and a half after starting depending on the tour time frame. Again, really appreciate your thoughts on this. Thank you again for sharing.
Lauren
Childcare is a big issue with no solution available to our family at this time. We live in a city where we have no family. It’s important to me that I’m home with our child while he is still very young. However I’d love to work part time, a few evenings or weekends. This would work well while my husband is around. But because he’s military we never know when he is going to be around! Sometimes he is away for a few weeks at a time. Sometimes he’s on call all hours of the night. Sometimes he’s deployed to another content for months. I have been trying to think of a job that would allow me to work evenings and weekends but would let me stay home when my husband is away… such a dilemma.
Yes. Childcare is a huge, huge issue for us as well. As a nurse, the hours are almost always unconventional. I relate to all the crazy hours you husband works, we are in a similar situation, which is why having two parents on unconventional schedules was a stress or we simply were not willing to work around. It is such a dilemma, and I think many military spouses end up staying home because they feel like they have to , not necessarily because they want to. But working and parenting through a deployment in a chronic challenge faced by military spouses. Thank you so much for sharing your perspective Weronika. It’s been great chatting with you lately!
Yes! Great post. Our first PCS took me 6 months to get a job, with license transfers & no one wanting to hire a spouse that moves frequently! Our last PCS is overseas where I dont speak the native dilect, so off base is a no go. They aren’t hiring any medical jobs here unless you volunteer for at least a year! What do I do all that and PCS before I get hired? Only jobs available are fast food, which is fine if you’re a teenager, but I wasn’t even making $7.65 when I was 16!
Yes. That is also a common occurrence around here that you need to work for free for quite sometime before actually getting a job at the local Naval Hospital. My friend who was hired there, volunteered for about 6 months before the hiring process was actually complete and she was expected to work for free. She did this while paying out of pocket to put her kids in before and after school care. I think her volunteer experience was shorter than most, and many like you said are required to volunteer for a year before being able to take a paid position. This is another compelling piece of the argument…that medical jobs which are probably the best bet when it comes to being hired after frequent PCS moves are still challenging to come by as an educated military spouse with work experience. Thank you so much for sharing !
My Wife and I did a bit over 21 years in the Army. We both had a great life and earned all we got. You Ladies have a very tough time having to start over every 3 to 4 years. My hat is off to you and if you find yourself near Jackson, MS I will try to help you find work. Mikefuller52@gmail.com
Mike,
Thanks so much for your kind words. My husband and I enjoy military life, and despite the ups and downs, the military has been good to us. Thank you so much for your support. I will keep your email in my book.
Lauren
Thank you for this. And everything you said is true but can I add on that if you choose to stay at home for a PCS for a full year rather than go with your husband you are looked down on too. Because I choose to complete my education because I was only a year away from graduating I didn’t want to see my G.I. Bill go down the drain. So I opted to stay home and finish it.
It is a major struggle to find work and the Mail order services jobs like Jamberry and Scentsy just don’t cut it. I would love to be able to use my degree and find an amazing job, but it’s just not in the cards. Thankfully I have found someone really awesome to work for in my field but I’m underpaid because I’m unable to commit full time to that job an can’t afford childcare…..
Dina,
Great point about staying behind. A while back I read a post on babble about a spouse whose husband was leaving for a year of training to another state. She opted to stay where she was at, keep her job, and their kids in the same schools. You wouldn’t believe what mean things people said to her. I agree that if you opt not to go with your husband you are looked down on. I feel like it’s a double-edged sword–you go with your husband and people wonder why you don’t work or finish school, you stay back for a job or school and people see you as unsupportive. It’s a tough crowd sometimes, and I think we all deserve the benefit of the doubt and a little bit of empathy. These are not easy choices. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Much appreciated!!!
Lauren
Thank you Lauren for writing this. My biggest issue is that I have to have a professional license to practice. Our licenses are granted by the state, so I have to reapply, get supervision, and possibly attend more classes before I can get my license and work again in my new state. Depending on the state you are coming from and the state you are going to, you can be grandfathered in, but often times it can take months if not a year to get licensed in a new state. My family has moved every 1-2 years lately, and it’s just become impossible to work in my profession.
Many of my friends are in the same boat as me. We have advanced degrees, but can’t use them. Doctors, nurses, lawyers, therapists, the list goes on and on. I’m a proud military spouse and wouldn’t change my decision for anything, it’s just frustrating sometimes when we are trained to do something, but can’t due to the constant moving.
Yes. Yes. I wouldn’t change our military life for the world, but there are a unique set of barriers when it comes to both obtaining and maintaining employment that matches our educational backgrounds. We all seem to pull it together and make it work somehow. Some through alternative careers. Some through creating an at home business out of nothing. I applaud that. It’s really inspiring to see military spouses continually reinvent themselves time and time again.
Being a nurse, the hours are typically unconventional. Our family found that deployment schedules combined with an unconventional work schedule and young children is more than we are willing to take on right now. It simply put too much of a strain on our family relationships for me to work a nursing position right now. It will be interesting to see what the future holds…
This post is on point. I am a cosmetologist and mostly paid by commission. It’s almost impossible to build a client with moving every 2 years and I would waste more money for daycare and after school care for our children. I would save more money by staying home and take care of the kids, we have 2, than work underpaid and bringing in no income.
Thank you so much for sharing your story! And thank you for leaving an encouraging comment!
I also think a huge part of the problem is the lack of information about viable work at home and remote jobs. Too many spouses think that “work at home” automatically means sales or entry level positions when in reality there are a huge number of companies that hire at home workers for professional positions. I have been a freelancer for the last 8 years, since before I married my soldier, and I have never had a gap in work. The only time I have had off is when I have taken it off. We have PCS’d 4 times in 5 years and my husband is on his 3rd deployment and I have been able to work through it all thanks to the flexibility of freelancing. Web design, graphic design, programming, coding, and other professional level jobs all can be done from home. Advanced degrees can be applied to careers like virtual nursing, tutoring, and other work. There is a lot more in the work at home world than just selling one of the many product lines like Scentsy or Mary Kay that spouses don’t know about and have a hard time finding information about.
I would agree with you 100% that more education and resources are needed to help spouses learn creative ways to find work, as well as creative ways to complete an education. I am actually collaborating with a few other bloggers to create a eBook resources for military spouses on this very issue. More to come in the near future. Thank you for leaving such a thoughtful comment.
Lauren
When I left my management job in corporate America to be with my spouse at Ft. Hood, I had no idea what I would find. Not only were there no corporations that needed me around here. I looked around for anything, and found that some employers placed in the job requirements that you MUST be available for IMMEDIATE relocation. That is codespeak for Military Spouses don’t apply. I joined a few professional and civic organizations only to learn that the Good Ole’ boys network is alive and well and if my daddy didn’t go to school with his daddy I wasn’t going to get a job. I used my CAA to get an RN degree and got hired at the local VA and never looked back!
As an Army spouse of 17 years, I can attest that ACS has come a long way when it comes to providing resources to spouses. They have so many underused services when it comes to employment. With the OCONUS problem, the jobs go to local nationals because it is stated in the SOFA agreement, with the host nation, that a specific percentage of jobs will go to locals. Germany is 70%. Your information makes it sound as if AAFES and other organizations don’t want to employ spouses, when that is not the case. I think you are spot on, otherwise. Being at my second OCONUS duty station, I can say it is discouraging when you have a lot of education under your belt, and cannot find anything at all.
Man Lauren you really hit the nail on the head with these lies and truths! As a new military spouse I have pondered this topic all too often. Being in the insurance industry I really want to use my skills and education to help others while also contributing to our financial goals. Then there’s my husband’s schedule. Nothing feels normal. It’s always a challenge to balance our schedules. Funny thing is we. do not even have kids yet!
The struggle is real. Thank you for putting this article out there to spread the awareness. Your recommendations to provide a solution are great. I personally am taking the leap into self employment selling life insurance online and over the phone. As I am licensed in all states it is something I can take with me after a PCS.
It’d be great to empower and teach military spouses who have a skill or passion to set themselves up for self employment. Not all careers work best for this but I wish the military had some sort of program and/or assistance for this.
Thank you!
This is a great article, thanks Lauren!
It also depends on the location you get posted to that determines if you can get work.
My husband is in the Australian army, and we’ve just finished a posting in a remote area. We had no family support around so it did make finding a job quite challenging.
I do find it hard to establish myself in our new location job wise, only to then move on within 2 years anyway
Yes. You are a perfect example. Thank you so much for sharing !
Lauren
Apipicrateon for this information is over 9000-thank you!
This is completely true!
I moved and married with my husband ALOT, and when your 20-25, you should be going to school, I had to transfer so many times. my husband got stationed a s a recruiter and I took as many classes as I could, I had a baby a year and a half ago not, and last month graduated. I took 43 credits, or 13 classes this year with my little one. my GPA dropped from a 3.84 to a 3.47 because my husband would not help when he was home, and I missed midterms, since I do not work, taking a very heavy college load and I cant afford day care, and there is NO family here, nor friends, since we ;live 2 hours from a base. We also had only one car and with his unpredictable hours I could not work. When we got married originally I left my vehicle behind,. when I came home it never worked again from sitting, so one vehicle it was.. I am moving home to my family now to get a stable job, nothing is worse than depending on someone else, military spouse roles are terrible, they suck the life out of you, you have to depend on someone, your school job, life has to be given up to move if its called for, your support network and family cannot be there to help when needed, and god forbid your service member become an abuser after an especially long deployment. I would not do this again. I turned 26 not even a month ago and I simply can’t do this. I have a terrible spouse though, I gave everything up for him and he instead has run me into debt, given me terrible self esteem, robbed me of precious years with my family and is a compulsive cheater, but before that last deployment he was wonderful, sweet, kind, helpful, loving, he had manners, ect, then when he came home he just was a terrible, terrible person. Good Luck Ladies. Put yourself as a priority, because frankly, no one else every really will.. Sure, it can be great, and your spouse must treat you with respect, and loyalty, but you never know what they will be like 5 years down the road, deployment later. Just never put yourself to the side completely because everything is able to change on a whim and you need to protect yourself.
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As a stay at home mom who homeschools I’m saddened you didn’t mention those who choose to stay home because it’s whats best for their children. My husband and I both decided I’d stay home once we had kids. It’s hard to live on one income and being a stay at home IS a full time job. Not having a paying job doesn’t mean you are lazy.
Hello, I was hoping someone can help. I have emailed and tried to talk to the unemployment office and they are not answering my question. They keep directing me to file a claim and I’m not ready to. My husband’s report date is July 10th. We live in wisconsin. I don’t want to quit my job too early and not be eligible but I cannot seem to find the information on what timeframe. I read certain states won’t approve it if you quit prior to 15 days before the report date. Any help is appreciated
Thank you for writing this. My military husband retired ten years ago. I struggled finding work throughout his career. Opportunities were limited or just not there. Just finding a job, never mind a career or dream, was difficult. We moved often. Bases closed while we were there. Short tours. On one long tour, we moved within country. Government downsizing. …and so on. Other military spouses needed work too, and many were willing to work for low pay, thus making it even more difficult to find something worth it. I kept blaming myself, but when I wrote down every assignment, I realized it was lack of opportunity. It seemed survival mode was how I lived… just find something. Anything. Sadly, I stayed in that survival mode when my husband retired and moved on to his next career. My fault, but a hard habit to break. I took a job in a field I hated so we could get by (military retirement pay is nice, but not enough to live on). I did this through an unexpected job loss and am now feeling it’s too late to start (not over, just start). Anyway, I am grateful for military retirement benefits and all of the places we’ve been and people we’ve met, but career / work was a struggle for me. Are there any wives in their 50s who have stared careers? Thanks.
I know this was written a few years ago. But I also have to say thank you! I am having such a hard time dealing with the fact I am not going to go to the next duty station with my husband. After 17 years I had to make the tough decision of leaving a career I love or moving again for the man I love. With only 3 years left I had to think of our future. He is going to Germany and I am an educator. There are 0 opportunities for me there other than subbing, which pays very little and makes me feel even littler. I did it before in the Netherlands and it was crushing to do the same job as for only a fraction of the pay. Bea it is never to late. I had to start over in my 40s and I know of others in their 50s. It is just finding what you love and going for it.
Actually I disagree with your on the Education front. In study after study it has been proven that military spouses are more educated than their civilian counterparts. They have more degrees per capita than non military spouses, so that is one of the reasons why lack or employment or underemployment is again such a big blow. They have the qualifications, moreso than their counterparts, yet not only are they not more highly employed, they are less employed.
Lauren I am so glad to have found your website. I met my wife when she was stationed in Hawaii, we dated for two years and then the assignment for Germany came up. Excited for Europe adventures, we decided to get married and go for it. I was sad to leave the place I grew up, along with all my family and friends. But perhaps most of all, I was sad to leave my career. 10+ years in the automotive sales industry, I had an established clientele, and well, easily made 2.5x more annually than my wife.
We’ve been in Germany since January of this year, and the only positions I can find on-base are for food-service, custodial work and child/youth program assistants. All ranging from $8-11/hr. I haven’t worked for that kind of money anywhere in a decade. It’s incredibly frustrating to think that my best options might not even be worth the unhappiness of going to a menial job everyday. Do I go back to the States and continue my career? Allowing me to have some pride in contributing financially to our family and helps us to put aside money for later on down the road? Or do I stay here in Germany and accept the decision we made to come here, and stick with my spouse (who admittedly is having a much easier time adjusting to life here because she has somewhere to go 5 days a week)? It’s a lot to consider. None of it is easy.
Thanks for doing what you do with this blog. I’m still very much frustrated with my own situation, but after reading through a few articles, am finding comfort in this wide network of opinions, advice and well-wishes.
Hi Lauren,
I’m a new reader (and newish milspouse, my husband has been in for 2 years). I’ve got a year until graduating with my BS in web + mobile programming. I am currently working a PT job at a history museum. I’ve had no trouble finding a job as a milspouse, but finding a relevant job commensurate with my professional experience, not so much. Very interesting to read your post and all the comments from the other spouses. The employment challenges are a large part of why my husband and I don’t plan to go career active duty. Our plan is for him to finish his degree with TA during this contract, then go National Guard so we can keep Tricare coverage and he can get additional educational benefits for grad school. Since we’ve been married I’ve seen less of him than when we were dating long distance between universities in different cities. It has been an adventure and given us a lot (debt-free education, incredible friendships, personal growth) but I’m 22 and I’ve already had about enough of the constant moves, never knowing if travel plans will be ruined last minute, poor communication, etc. Not that the Army no longer does pensions for soldiers who joined after Jan 1 2018, going career just isn’t that appealing. It’s been a crazy and wonderful adventure but we plan to design our own adventures after this contract is up.