Schedule / RoutineBack in the day when I was in college, I was in love with routines. Each time there was a big exam, I would head straight to the library, lay out all my pens and notepaper, do exactly three neck stretches, and set my coffee within arm’s reach but far enough to keep it from killing my textbook should a spill occur.
Because…yeah…laptops were all new age back then, and I was the proud owner of a ginormous desktop computer.
Then I became a mom.
And not much changed regarding my love for routines, rhythms and schedules. They gave me comfort and security when life felt very overwhelming and chaotic. If I’m being honest, keeping a good daily toddler schedule saved the sanity of both my husband and me through the 2-year-old not listening phase.
When temper tantrums and power struggles seem to heavily pepper our daily life, routines create cooperation and peace around playtimes, mealtimes and bedtimes.
(Or as much is humanly possible while parenting young kids.)
But there were a few bumps in the routine road.
Enter the “dreaded” morning routine.
When my son was a toddler, he would wake up, eat breakfast, and watch a cartoon. The start of the routine always went fine. But when it came to getting dressed, brushing teeth, putting on shoes and leaving the house, he fell apart.
Every. Day.
He could not bear the “horrific pain” of donning shoes. Most days they suddenly went missing (despite being right in front of him) and he would collapse into his chair sobbing.
Don’t even get me started on bedtime.
There are several ways to create a toddler schedule that will work for your child, but here’s the biggest secret that helped our son overcome his morning, bedtime and mealtime drama.
A set of printable routine cards.
I had these cards made, printed them onto cardstock, and put them in the order we wanted for our morning routine.
They’re are exactly what I needed—brightly-colored, fun and functional.
And since they are printable, I can re-print a new set each time these get a little beat up. I can also use the same printable pack to create a unique, separate routine for my daughter.
Getting started with printable routine cards.
You can mention using these cards in advance, but it’s not necessary or required. On the day you get started simply mention,
“You are going to learn how to get yourself ready in the morning!”
Or if there is another routine you are working on, exchange “in the morning” with “at dinner time” or “at playtime” or “at bedtime.”
Then focus on the routine for one to two weeks, allowing your child to gain more and more independence as you coach them through it. I found the most success coaching my oldest using a Language of Listening® approach.
Language of Listening® is a basic three-step coaching model, which always goes like this:
- SAY WHAT YOU SEE®. Describe exactly what you see without questions, judgement, fixing or teaching.
- If you see something you like, name a STRENGTH (something the child did well).
- If you see something you don’t like, name something the child CAN DO instead.
Putting it into practice.
When I first printed of the cards, my son was curious what I was doing, which was the perfect moment to explain to him that I was “creating something very special so he could get ready in the morning ALL by himself!”
I went into more detail saying, “These are the cards you will use to help you through your morning routine.”
We talked about what each card meant and where we would put them. Each time he seemed curious in the cards or interested in doing things “by himself,” I started with SAY WHAT YOU SEE®.
“You’re pretty excited about using these cards. You want to do more by yourself. I can tell you’re looking at the cards and probably thinking about how you are going to use them.”
No worries about being perfect here. If you get it wrong, your child will correct you.
When it came time to use the cards…
Here’s how it went.
Me: “Wow. All the routine cards are lined up here on the wall to help you! You can learn how to get ready all by yourself.”
Him: “Woo hoo!” (His enthusiasm surprised me! My guess is that spirited or strong willed kids may thrive using these routine cards because they offer the child a sense of control!).
Me: “The first step is to wake up and you already did that! The second card says to make your bed. Show me how to make your bed.”
And one-by-one, we went through each card on the routine until we were ready to leave the house. This was day one and there was a lot of coaching, but this was also 100 percent expected.
We kept going.
Each day we tried again and again, going through the routine. When he didn’t want to follow the cards, I named a CAN DO instead or offered some sort of choice that fit within my boundaries.
And every single time he completed one of the cards, I named his STRENGTH and said something like this,
“Wow, you did that all by yourself and you didn’t need any help. That shows you’re independent and you know how to figure things out!”
Over a period of several weeks, he became more independent and followed the printable routine cards. Of course, he’s learning and growing, so he continues to need some coaching and guidance each morning.
(As your children get older, you can even use these to create school night routines for kids)
But really.
He does so much more on his own than he used to and to me that makes the world of difference. When the mornings are notoriously rushed and I am trying to get my daughter ready for the day, it is so helpful to have my preschooler do several steps without me needing to offer instructions.
The printable routine cards are an amazing tool that any parent can use. Now if I could get him to SEE the shoes right in front of his eyes, we’d be GOLDEN.
You can see the 40+ different printable routine cards included in the printable pack here.
There’s a set for mealtime, chores, bedtime, morning time and play time all in one pack!
Want more on parenting?
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- One Simple Trick to Help Kids Fall Asleep Fast
- 4 Year Old Sleep Schedules – Easy to Use With Examples
- 1 Year Old Sleep Schedules from Everyday Moms
- 25+ Easy, Healthy Lunches for 2 Year Olds
Really awesome tool and strategy you’ve created there! This looks like a lovely idea and we will probably create a blog post to push your product.
Thank you so much!
Hi Lauren,
I have purchased these routine cards, but did not receive the PDF file. Can anyone help me with that?
Thanks, Crystal
Hi Lauren, my daughter is 7 and im struggling with alot of these issues. Will they work with her or are these more geared to the toddler years? Which articles you reccomend the most for older kids? Often when i try and dig deeper with my daughter shes gets annoyed defensive and dismissive and usually shes very open with me.
I’m not Lauren, but these work equally well with my 4 year old and soon to be 7 year old. In fact, they worked so well that I stopped using them, thinking they had gotten the hang of it. Nope. I literally just dug them back out because we had gotten to chaos.
Now I’m just looking for mommy routine cards because I’m just as disorganized as they are. Lauren? Do you have any of those?
Love the helpful wording to encourage and keep it positive with the kids using the cards! But what does the child do with the cards as he /she completes them? A folder pocket or board? Ideas please…
There are a couple different options. If you laminate them, the child can check them off using a dry erase marker and start again the next day. This would work if you have them taped or velcroed to the wall somewhere. Or if you prefer to hand the cards to your child, they could place each card completed in a “special” box.
this looks like a great idea but where do you put the cards. Sleeping and dressing etc are up stairs and eating and leaving the house are down stairs. How do you keep them located where you are running around to see whats next? Thanks
I would put them in a central place in the home, where everyone can see each others accomplishments. After all humans are competitive.
I have just purchased the cards: many thanks to you and Rachel for this great resource, they are just what I was looking for!
In response to Julie’s question above, this is how I am thinking to use them: I will affix the cards pertaining to a particular routine in a visible place in the area where the routine is to happen. For example, morning routine: in my daughter’s bedroom, meal time: in our living / dining room, etc.
I will use washi tape to stick the cards to the wall or a piece of furniture, at her eye level. I am planning to just have the cards stay in place, rather than move or collect them as the tasks are done. My daughter is almost five, and I think she will be able to find her place in the routine quite easily, and seeing the cards in a row every day will also hopefully help her memorize the sequence.
Thank you, Lauren, once again! ?
Do any of the printables say “put your shoes on” or something involving putting your shoes on?
These are very similar to what people use in the schools. boardmaker. But I have expanded my use of that to include crucial language concepts. One thing that helps kids grow in language and responsibility is to:
Put the child in the picture doing what you want them to do.
Use drawing in real time and then keep the drawings to refer back to
Use drawings instead of pictures.
You can easily draw anything that you need to show the child. We use notebooks to flip through or card envelopes. you can laminate cards and put them on a flip circle. She has done some really good things for helping kids organize. I love how she talks with children.
I am a speech language pathologist and I work with kids every day increasing language and good behaviors. Just adding what I know about children’s learning systems and how the brain works to remember and grow connections! There are many great books about that too.
Thanks to Lauren Tamm for your contribution to kids growing up well. 🙂
do you have a therapy or doctor/dentist visual
That’s a great idea! We are getting read to expand to routine card pack to include more cards. I’ll put those on my list.
If I purchase the pack now & you expand the pack later, will I have access to the updated version for free, or will I need to repurchase?
Sarah,
If you shoot me an email, I will send you the updated copy. It’s currently live!
updated copy of routine cards would be appreciated:
llcwalker4@hotmail.com
hie there, where can one purchase the cards. Not sure if there’s shipping for South Africa
Are these routine cards for toddlers or can they be used for 8 and 10-year-olds?
I love this idea! Do you think they would work for two year olds?
Yep! I definitely think they will help with a 2 year old and beyond!
Hello Lauren. Could you please give me some examples of what exactly to say when my daughter refuses to do do what the cards show? Generally she wakes up and wants to play. She doesn’t care to do anything no matter what I say.
Tnx in advance
Absolutely! So if kids don’t want to do the cards, and they only want to play, you can say something like…”You love to play. These cards don’t look fun to you at all! Hmmm…there must be some way we could make using these cards fun!” If you’re able to get to the bottom of what your daughter loves and wants to play, validate it as much as possible. You can also validate that the cards don’t look fun to her. Once she feels heard and understood, she will open up to your guidance. See if together you can come up with a game that follows the routine. If she comes up with the game on her own, it will feel much more powerful for her. If you’re able to make them fun or playful for her, it can be enough to help her shift.
Hi, I am keen to purchase the pack – do you include some blank cards so I can add any that I need that are not part of it? I can’t see a full list of what is included….
The routine cards now include blank cards as well as editable templates to create your own custom cards using either Microsoft Word or Mac Pages. Additional cards have also been added. Hope this helps!
Lauren
Hi!! I just bought my pack and laminated them. I bought the triple combo package of your Ebook and the cards and routines. I just got it yesterday but don’t remember seeing the blank cards, that would be SO helpful as she is 2 so some of them just need the wording to be slightly altered. Maybe I’m looking in the wrong place. But can’t wait to see her excitement tomorrow about doing things herself!! Thank you for you help!
Still have not received my cards…
These look like they would be great for autistic kids, thank you so much!
You are so welcome!