I see you there in the post office getting your packages. You place two giant packages on a cart and a smaller one on top of them. I see your kids running around in circles screaming like a herd of wild horses in an endless forest acting like jealous siblings do fighting over which spot they are standing in. I see you tell them to stop over and over again and I see them continue to run. Your youngest, a toddler, falls down and starts to wail.
And that is when I see the angry mom unfold.
I see your eyes turn angry and start to boil inside. I see you grip that post office cart with one white-knuckled hand, while your other hand scoops up your screaming toddler and places him tightly under your arm like a sausage.
Gritting your teeth, you tell your other two kids to Move. It. and Get. Outside.
I see this angry mom thing inside you and it speaks to me like a story I’ve read a thousand times before. It speaks to me because I’ve been that angry mom at the post office before. Heck, I’ve been that angry mom and I only have one kid to corral. I see myself in you.
A few weeks ago, I was at the grocery store with my toddler. He was getting pretty antsy sitting in the grocery cart for a whole 10 minutes while I rushed through the store grabbing my items. I was trying to grab everything as quick as possible before he got too rambunctious and impatient. I was trying to take him on errands after he was well fed and rested so everything would run smoothly. He was on the brink of a behavior downward spiral, so I grabbed some milk and rushed as gracefully as possible to the checkout line.
There, he starts climbing from the back to the front of the cart. Ugh, those buckles never work! I tell him to Sit. Down. and put the buckle on tighter. I finally just remove him from the cart and now he is running around the checkout area like a wild horse in an endless forest. It’s no better than climbing around in a grocery cart and people are staring.
I’ve honestly just had it. You know? Sometimes you try to do all the right things and be a good mom and it all just slaps you in the face.
I see you.
I look through the window and see you at your car outside the post office. I want to run out there and give you a big hug and tell you 3 words.
I want to tell you, “You’re doing okay.”
Maybe it wouldn’t mean anything to you coming from a mom with far less years under her belt, but I still wanted to tell you.
You’re doing okay.
You’re doing okay.
You’re doing okay.
You are really trying.
It’s so easy to fall into the not-good-enough trap. Parenting is HARD. It pushes you to limits you never knew were possible. Feeling like an angry mom is so common. I can’t tell you how many friends I know who share these same experiences with me.
Give yourself a break.
I know it’s probably been too long since you last took a day to yourself. Heck, if you are anything like me and so many other moms, it’s probably been YEARS since allowed yourself a day to be a selfish mom. Go ahead. Take the break. You are more than worth it.
Your kids are going to be okay.
Even on what might be your worst day, I still see you doing a great job as a mom. You are wrestling with your anger, trying so hard to do the right thing. You want to be amazing for them and it counts.
Resources for a calmer home:
- The Most Important Words You’ll Ever Say to an Upset Child
- Parenting Anger Isn’t The Problem: How to Communicate With Kids Effectively When You’re Angry
- The Most Important Thing You Can Do After You Yell at Your Kids
- 8 Ways to Get Your Kids to Listen Without Yelling
Want more on motherhood?
- The Day I Finally Decided to Be a Selfish Mom
- Making Peace with Becoming a Stay at Home Mom
- 10 Genius Sleep Hacks for Tired Moms
- Why Every Great Mom Fills Her Cup First
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