It’s hard to say exactly when my heart turned into an epic pile of mush, but I’m pretty sure it occurred somewhere between my husband leaving for a 3 month work trip and my pregnancy hormones ramping up half-way through the second trimester.
It hit me all of a sudden: My son would no longer be my only child. In a few short months he will become a big sibling; and I, a mom of two.
Growing our family is something we desire immensely and our hearts are full knowing a baby girl is on the way.
And yet, my heart aches thinking of all the impending “Lasts” of parenting our oldest as an only child.
I think about how I won’t be able to devote as much time to him. I wonder if I will be able to look him in the eye as much as I should. I wonder if he will start to incessantly hear, “Mommy will be there in just a sec.” And then I think about all the cuddles and kisses. Will I ever have time to get enough in with two kids instead of one?
3 Things You Learn Savoring the Moment
I started savoring the moment as much as possible. The days and weeks were ticking by and wanted to remember everything as best I could. I wanted to fit it all in without the regret of allowing it to simply pass too quickly.
And then I learned 3 things…
Pregnancy makes you soft.
Seriously. What is it about pregnancy that turns you into a giant pile of mush? I know it’s Mother Nature’s way of helping you become a good mom. But man, you really do grow about one hundred heart strings in a short few months.
If you allow the hormones to take over, it’s not long before you find yourself boo-hooing over all the lasts of life with an only child.
Oh, it’s the last time I’ll ever chase him around the kitchen with a fork trying to get him to take one more bite.
Oh, it’s the last time I’ll endlessly try to dry his tears while he cries over the one cheerio that fell on the floor.
HELLO! I told myself to wake up, take a few deep breaths and repeat this mantra: It’s just the hormones. It’s just the hormones.
Life is short.
Okay, so not everything is just the hormones. It is 100 percent acceptable to take a few moments to slow down and enjoy all the special moments with your child. The years REALLY are so fleeting, and it’s a theme you hear time and time again from other moms.
When life is short and the moment is fleeting, try these ideas:
— Take a few moments to look your child in the eye each day. Throughout the day.
— Really look at your child. No really, look at your child and SEE them for who they are.
— Take those extra snuggles and kisses and then ask for at least 3 more.
— Hold hands.
— Say I love you as many times as you remember.
— Play together. Play together. Really, play together.
— And you absolutely must act silly at least once per day.
Change is good.
Savoring the moments with your first born while they are still your only child is a good thing. It’s a healthy thing. But as your family grows, there will be so many new and amazing and wonderful moments to savor that involve more than one child.
Change means learning to love beyond what you thought you could.
Change means allowing your heart to open-wider.
Change means adapting, growing and appreciating all the life lessons that come along.
Change is good.
There’s still time.
When I lay down with my son at bedtime, I am reminded that several weeks remain before a sweet baby girl joins our family outside the womb. Tonight my son and I lay together in his bed as I sing songs to him and he rubs my cheeks. I’ve been singing for at least 10 minutes now and his bedtime routine is taking way longer than it should.
He looks me in the eye and says, “Mama?”
I know he wants one more song. I ask him, “Do you want the Beep, Beep, Beep song again?”
He nods and strokes my cheek a few more times. One day soon, I might not have time for one more song. But tonight I have all the time in the world. So yes, one more Beep, Beep, Beep song is on the way.
It brings tears to my eyes just writing that
…and I am totally blaming it on the hormones.
Want more on motherhood?
- How to Survive Pregnancy Fatigue While Caring for a Toddler Too
- For All the Moms of Toddlers
- 27 Best Pieces of Pregnancy Advice for Moms
Are you savoring the moment with your first born? Let’s chat in the comments!
Shortly after my son was born, I had this brief thought that it would be okay if he stayed an only child. I always dreamed of having two or three kids, but now that one is here, I don’t know if I could divide my love and attention in two (or three) if another baby was in the picture.
I have since learned that (in addition to growing a hundred heart strings) moms have this superpower to somehow multiply the love in their hearts. There is an endless supply.
Our first borns will learn a lot from being a big brother (or sister). So even though giving them siblings to look after and help take care of can take a little bit of mom’s attention away from them, it will add so much more character to their lives. Those are some of the lessons that you will teach your first born, and that is the connection you will share with them for life. They will be the only ones to have had you all to themselves at one point. That is something that no other sibling can take away from them…
Enjoy the time you have left… when baby #2 comes, there will be more love to spread, and that will be a new and exciting chapter for you. Can’t wait to read more about it…
Thank you so much!