Schedule / RoutineSitting on the couch with my swollen legs propped up on pillows, I looked over at the stack of newborn baby sleep books on the coffee table. Over the course of several hours, I devoured each book, skimming through the pages.
I was determined to learn how to make a newborn sleep.
Then…my son was born.
And….he didn’t sleep.
Imagine that. A baby not sleeping the way a book says 🙂
I fumbled through it the first six weeks. I was so unsure of myself.
Thankfully, we pulled ourselves together, armed ourselves with some key infant sleep facts, developed a plan and implemented it.
We stuck with it, and at 4 months old, our son was sleeping 11-12 hours at night and naps extended to 1.5 to 2 hours. Woohoo! We’ve experienced sleep regression, sleeping on the go, sleeping through teething…and so much more!
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How to get a newborn to sleep.
Getting your newborn to sleep longer stretches at night is not a perfect process. There is an ebb and flow. It’s all about trying new things and finding something that works well for your baby.
We used these tips for our daughter, and she slept so well during the newborn phase, my husband and I enjoyed a generous amount of time hanging out.
Here’s the best part: When your baby sleeps better, you will notice a more patient, more tolerant, more engaging baby after a good night’s rest or quality nap.
1. Swaddle
From birth to about age four to five months, babies innately possess a startle reflex, in which they feel as if they are falling. The sensation of falling causes jerking movements, and the baby will incidentally wake up.
Keeping a tight swaddle prevents babies from startling themselves awake, helping the newborn baby sleep both better and longer. I like to think of the baby as ‘snug as a bug in a rug,’ and I used to tell my son this every time I’d swaddle him snugly.
I love the HALO SleepSack Cotton Swaddle
Both help keep the baby swaddled snugly yet safely.
Even if your baby seems to dislike the swaddle I would keep trying. If you think about how it was for them in the womb, it is a very familiar feeling for a baby to enjoy a snugness around them.
We stopped swaddling once our son could regularly get his arms out and roll over. We continued to use the Halo Sleep Swaddle and just swaddled around his torso, leaving his arms out.
2. Dreamfeed.
The dreamfeed is the feeding given to the baby right before you (mom or dad) go to bed, and it helps prevent the baby from waking up just after you finally drift off to sleep.
Isn’t this the pinnacle of sleep deprivation?
You just fall asleep and the baby wakes up.
The dreamfeed can help your newborn baby sleep for longer while you sleep. We used it until about age 4 months. After than time, it can start to disrupt sleep and create more nighttime waking.
Here’s an example of a newborn sleep schedule that we loosely used during the first 3-12 weeks.
- 7 am – Wake up, eat, play
- 8 am – Nap
- 9:30 am – Wake up, eat, play
- 10:30 am – Nap
- 12:00 – Wake up, eat, play
- 1:00 pm – Nap
- 2:30 pm – Wake up, eat, play
- 3:30 pm – Nap
- 4:30 pm – Wake up, eat, play
- 5:30 – Cat nap
- 6:00 pm – Wake up, eat, play
- 7:30 – Eat again (cluster feed), then down for the night.
- 9:30 pm – Dreamfeed.
- 9:30 pm – 7 am – night feeds as needed.
Generally if you can get a newborn to go 3-4 hour stretches during the night from birth to 6 weeks that is pretty good! From 6-12 weeks if you can get a 4-6 hour stretch that’s great. Some babies will go 8-9 hour stretches with the dream feed.
When most author’s taut “getting baby to sleep through the night” they are referring to a 6 hour stretch of sleep. A newborn’s stomach is very small and I typically like to feed at least 2.5 hours during the day, cluster feed in the evenings AND dreamfeed. The more calories you’re able to feed during the day, the less they may need at night.
If you’re looking for more baby sleep schedules, check out my book Routines, Rhythms and Schedules. Inside there are 20+ printable schedules from birth to age 5.
3. Limit the length of naps during the day.
I know it’s hard to wake a sleeping baby, but sleeping too long of a stretch during the day can rob nighttime sleep. If the baby sleeps past the 2 – 2.5 hour mark, I would go ahead and wake the baby up, feed him, keep him a wake for a bit, and then lay him down for another nap. If you feel the baby truly needs longer naps, feel free to increase the nap limit to 2.5 hours. Breaking up sleep during the day will help your newborn baby sleep better at night. It also enables you to get more feedings in during the day, which is very helpful.
There were, of course, times where our son was overtired and needed a little recovery nap. We would allow him to sleep for a little bit longer for just that one nap and then we started getting back on track with our daily routine.
Related: How to Help Baby Take Longer Naps
4. Use white noise.
No one wants to miss a party, so if your baby is listening to all the fun going on in the house it can be hard to fall asleep and stay asleep.
I place a fan on medium in the baby’s room rather than directly next to the baby, so it does not blow directly on him or sit too close to his sensitive ears. Using white noise also helps immensely when we are traveling! We are usually able to avoid asking friends or family to be quiet 🙂
I’ve used both a regular fan and a white noise machine in the past.
5. Follow the eat, wake, sleep cycle.
The baby wakes from sleep and immediately eats. Then the baby is awake for a while to play. Then the baby goes back to sleep….
This cycle has several purposes. First, it encourages full feedings by allowing the baby to eat immediately after waking. The baby will have the most energy immediately after waking, making him more inclined to take a full feeding and go longer between feedings.
Also, by feeding the baby after sleep rather than before sleep, the cycle prevents the baby from associating food with sleep or using food as a sleep prop. When using this cycle, a feeding before bedtime is typically only feeding before sleep.
Of course, there were times where I definitely fed my baby before sleep. He needed a little TLC for a certain nap, and I was totally fine offering it when he needed it. But for the most part, I tried to avoid feeding him right before sleep.
Note: Newborns require frequent feedings and rest to ensure healthy growth a development in the early months. Always feed your baby as frequently as your baby needs to ensure healthy weight gain.
6. Use a pre-nap and bedtime routines.
It is well known that babies thrive on routine, structure, and predictability. Routines are also an excellent tool to help newborns get settle before sleep at night. Creating consistent routines will help bring order to a very chaotic world for your infant.
Choose a pre-nap routine that works for you.
A pre-nap routine may include taking the baby to his room, close the blinds or curtains, place the baby in his sleep sack or wearable blanket, turn on the white noise, sing a quick song (e.g. Twinkle, twinkle), give a few cuddles, and say your sleepy words “I love you. I hope you have a good sleep.”
A bedtime routine would typically be a little longer.
It may include a bath, a massage, reading a story, offering a feeding, placing the baby in a wearable blanket or swaddle, turning on the white noise, a few cuddles, and saying your sleepy words. Following the same exact routine as consistently as possible cues the baby for sleep, and over time the baby will learn that sleep immediately follows the nap and bedtime routines.
Use these printable (and adorable!) baby sleep routine cards to keep parents, grandparents and babysitters ALL on the same page.
Inside the baby sleep printable pack, I also include a chart to help you know how much a newborn should sleep. It’s a great resource to use when creating your own custom newborn sleep schedule.
7. Change your baby’s diaper strategically…
Changing the diaper before a middle of the night feeding prevents the baby from waking up too much after a feeding is finished. When the baby wakes up change the diaper and re-swaddle to prepare him for sleep immediately following a night feeding. If you change the diaper after the night feeding, the baby may become too awake, making it more challenging for him to fall asleep.
Now, I’ve also heard from parents of very young newborn babies (Think: Birth to 3 weeks) sharing that the baby poops right after a night feeding. This is very common during the early newborn phase when babies are still working out the flow of their digestive tracts.
If your baby is consistently stooling after a night feeding, then certainly, just wait to change the diaper until after the feed. Once your baby’s gut matures and he or she stops stooling immediately after a night feed, you can go back to changing the diaper before the feed.
8. Understand how a baby sleeps.
The more your baby sleeps, the more they will sleep.
It’s backwards but true!
If your newborn won’t sleep, there’s a very good chance, he’s way overtired.
Keeping a baby awake in hopes of tiring him out will actually result in over-stimulation, and he will experience both difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep. It is very likely an overtired baby will sleep shorter, not longer.
Note: Sometimes this tip confuses readers. And it’s no wonder. First I said limit naps during the day, and now I said an overtired baby will sleep shorter, not longer.
Let me be more clear:
- Limiting the length of naps is important to support night time sleep. You want the baby to get in as many feedings as possible during the daytime. Think: More daytime feeds = less nighttime feeds.
- You don’t want to keep the baby awake for long stretches. Your baby will get over-tired, fussy and have difficulty falling back asleep.
- Bottom line: Encourage lots of naps AND feedings during the day following the eat, wake, sleep cycle.
Related: 8 Infant Sleep Facts Every Parent Should Know
9. Don’t rush in…
We may inadvertently encourage the start of a bad sleep habit by rushing in when a baby cries or rustles during the night. Often times, babies wake up babble and go back to sleep.
The baby may even cry briefly or babble and still be asleep.
Give the baby some time and see if he will resettle himself. Avoid rushing in and disturbing this process in order to help your newborn baby sleep better.
Waiting anywhere from 2-10 minutes to see if your newborn settles is a good place to start. There’s no exact science. Listen to your baby’s cries. If your baby is starting to escalate, it’s usually a good sign he needs some extra comfort and support.
10. Lay the baby down awake, but drowsy.
The most important way to encourage your newborn to sleep in the long run is to teach him to fall asleep independently, which is essentially the beginnings of teaching independent sleep.
Babies, like adults, will naturally wake up during the night. Without knowing how to get back to sleep, a baby will cry out after waking regardless of actual need, resulting in night waking droning on for much longer than is actually necessary.
Once a baby gets older, falling asleep independently enables a baby to drift back to sleep after waking in the night, ultimately helping your baby sleep better in the long run.
You can start by settling your baby into a drowsy state with your newborn baby routine, then lay your baby down in their safe sleep space. If needed, place a gentle but firm hand over your babies chest while he drifts off.
I found that swaddling made a remarkable difference. I remember the nurses in the hospital saying it gives the baby a sense of comfort.
Yes, we swaddled for as long as we safely could. We loved the Halo Swaddle!
Well i have tried swaddling but seems to never works for me.But the method with music and baby sleep sounds worked better with my kids.Also there are some good tips from Baby Sleep Miracle and some are really effective .Any way i am now over that peroid and wish luck to all the moms out there.
My 2 year old never slept through the night, after using the baby miracle sleep program I found HERE ( http://instantbaby-sleep1.bestips.info ) my baby falls asleep in minutes until the next morning. Best product I got my hands on, clears the mind, relax the body and there we go all fast asleep.
Well i have tried swaddling but seems to never works for me.But the method with music and baby sleep sounds worked better with my kids.Also there are some good tips from www,MyBabysleep.info and some are really effective .Any way i am now over that peroid and wish luck to all the moms out there.
My baby almost 5 months batlles to sleep in the night. He sleep 4-5 hours and then he is up every hour. What do I do? Must I keep ons giving him a bottle but then he drinks 20ml and sleeps again and then he is up again in an hour for another 30ml. Please help
Sleeping through the night is so important for you and your child. What really helped us was the sleep training a friend recommended us. You can find it here: http://www.SleepTrainChild.info
Hi, my baby is 2 months old.
Is it too late to set a schedule for him, or I can still do it ?
As he suffers from colic so night time sleep is very difficult for him.
My baby never slept well (especially through the night) until I started using http://www.InstantBabySleep.org – by far one of the best things I’ve ever got my hands on to get him to fall asleep quickly. Best time is 45 seconds from awake to asleep! Can’t imagine life without it! I heard about it through a kindergarten teacher who uses it to put to sleep a group of 30 children.
Do you feed baby the full bottle you would have fed when you dream feed? And do you have troubles burping? My LO struggles to take the whole bottle during the dream feed and I have a terrible time burping our usually great burper. It makes for a very unhappy and gassy baby in the morning. Thanks!
I believe I usually offered about 5 ounces during the dreamfeed, which I estimated was a full feeding for the dream feed. I breastfeed so it’s difficult to say what a full feeding would be in ounces exactly. For whatever reason, I pumped and bottle fed the dream feed because it was easier for me. So I just fed what I pumped. I always skipped the burping during the dream feed and it didn’t seem to cause troubles for him. For a short while I was holding him upright for 5- 10 minutes after the feeding. Sometimes he would burb. Other times, he would not. Gas issues are tough 🙁 I wish I had better advice. We did use gas drops and grip water, but the efficacy of both is usually debatable among moms. Some swear by it and others say it doesn’t really work. I hope this helps.
will you please explan to me how to offer the dream feed, should i hold her to while she’s a sleep in bed, and what about the burb ? how will i let her burb while she’s a sleep, which in her normal day if she slept directly after feeding i can’t let her burb and some times when she’s in bed she wakes up crying and little milk is coming out of her mouth till the mattress .
My baby never slept well (especially through the night) until I started using https://www.SleepBaby.org – by far one of the best things I’ve ever got my hands on to get him to fall asleep quickly. Best time is 45 seconds from awake to asleep! Can’t imagine life without it! I heard about it through a kindergarten teacher who uses it to put to sleep a group of 30 children.
Yes, you are so right, crying and fussing are different. Thank you for sharing your tips and experience. Letting a baby cry is a very tough decision and I completely understand and respect parents who prefer not to use crying as part of sleep training. We did use some crying, but we worked very hard to minimize it and keep it very short in duration given his age and developmental level. Swaddling with arms near the face or arms out, I believe, is an awesome way to swaddle and it’s how we did it. Thanks again for sharing your tips. All my best ideas come from other parents!
We used white noise with our twins. It worked a charm. If only we had of done that with our first born!
I know some moms worry their babies will be reliant on white noise for sleep, but we’ve experienced a lot of success with it, and it’s a simple and easy way to encourage sleep. It’s encouraging to know you experienced success with it as well, Krystal.
When dreamfeeding is your baby supposed to be awake or asleep? I have tried dreamfeeding but then my baby is up& it takes her a while to get back to sleep.
It is intended for your baby to be in a slumber like state, but my son did wake up usually. I would usually only turn on a nightlight, change his diaper first, then re-swaddle him, then feed him. I did not make any eye contact or engage him at all. Just all business. He was usually able to fall back asleep during the feeding or at least get very drowsy. Also, the dreamfeed is intended to be offered about 3 hours post bedtime and it is usually only helpful up until about 4 months of age. Beyond that, I believe it becomes more disruptive. If you are already doing all the above mentioned things and it is still a struggle to lull your baby back to sleep, then it is possible that the dreamfeed isn’t really worth it. Some moms swear by it and others say it didn’t really help that much. I’m interested to know what ends up working for you….feel free to send me an email at themilitarywifeandmom(at)gmail(dot)com if you’d like to share. I’m sure other moms would benefit from what you have to share about your dreamfeed experience.
First, I saw this post on Facebook with your son Jameson’s picture and was completely taken aback by the fact that this particular picture looks just like my first born’s newborn picture. Anyway I just recently had twins and was trying for the life of me to remember how I turned my son’s sleep schedule around, and this post is exactly what I needed. I’m also a military mom and wife so I know how important it can be to learn a routine to help keep your sanity while the hubby is away!
Thank you!
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment, Ashley. Can you tell I love a good schedule? 🙂 Motherhood in the military adds a whole other dimension to everything, and the schedule brings a lot of comfort and sanity to our home. If there is a motherhood + military life topic you’d like to see discussed on this blog, I’d love for you to send me an email and share your ideas! All my best ideas come from my readers.
How do you get the baby to nap in their crib? She will nap in her swing, but is having a hard time napping on a flat surface.
My daughter is one month old. At what age do you recommend implementing your tips on sleep scheduling and no longer nursing at night? She is gaining weight really well. Do you recommend nursing more frequently during the day so she’s fuller at night? What age do you think she can move from our room to her room in her crib?
Hey Ellie,
During night feeds it is just eat/sleep. No awake time. And if your baby falls asleep during the feeding at night time, I always thought that was fine and dandy. Easier for me to get back to sleep, right? During they daytime, you can try to keep the baby awake for a bit after a feeding, but when they are newborns their awake time may very well be the time it takes for a feeding. Then they go back to sleep. After about 3-4 weeks they will be awake a bit more, so you could try at that point to make sure they are staying awake for a full feeding and awake for a bit there after. My lactation consultant encouraged me to undress the baby or change the diaper before the feeding to help wake the baby up a bit. This will give the baby a better chance of taking a full feeding. If they are too warm and cozy, the baby might just snack at the breast, which would prevent the baby from getting the good hindmilk at the end of the feeding. Sorry there a lot of random thoughts here 🙂 Hope this helps a bit.
Lauren
Thanks so much responding and so quickly, Lauren! I really appreciate it! All very helpful information. Thank you!
With breastfeeding I just had baby in bed with me from the time I brought her home. To be honest, for the first 12 months I never had to wake or get out of bed at night. And having her crib side car to our bed allowed her to transition very easily
Great tip Cara. I know a lot of moms enjoyed success with this.
Lauren