Sometimes when we start something new, it’s difficult to know where exactly to begin and what exactly to expect. After reading On Becoming Babywise, my husband and I knew we wanted to sleep-train using Babywise, but translating written content into real life application involves a learning curve.
I really fumbled along for quite some time in the beginning trying to figure out all the baby sleep tips and newborn routines. I’ve said before that my son was a challenging sleeper in his early days, and my husband and I spent an awful lot of time troubleshooting. It was far from a perfect process, but I learned and grew as a mother during that time. There are a few basic ideas we can all keep in mind when preparing to start Babywise.
1. Mentally prepare before the baby is born.
As a basic first step, read On Becoming Babywise as a couple and then talk about it together. When both parents are on board, everything runs more smoothly. Here are a few things I try to remind myself, when sleep-training…
- Babies will likely start sleeping longer stretches around 3-4 months.
- Troubleshooting at various points throughout the process is normal!
- Stay committed! You will see results!
- It is always okay to make modifications!
- Set the foundation! It will have positive lasting effects in the future months and years to come!
2. Start the basics at birth.
Last week I talked about my top infant sleep tips, which are just a few easy basics we can start from birth. Today I’d like to expand on that and talk about a few additional basics to help anyone preparing to start Babywise.
If you need to get acclimated for a few weeks before starting the basics that is 100% okay. Don’t stress! I was a nervous, anxious wreck that I wasn’t doing everything right from the beginning. It was a total waste of energy. The one thing that helped ground me during the postpartum period was essential oils. I used Frankincense and Lavender daily to support emotional wellness and Ningxia Red to keep my energy up.
Set a morning wake up time and a bedtime. We want to set the baby’s internal clock to encourage consistent night time sleep. It’s most common to see a 7 am wake time and a 7 pm bedtime. In a newborn, you may have a slightly later bedtime for a short while to help fit in enough feedings. After a few months, bedtime can usually be moved to an earlier time.
Create a basic routine for your day. Using the wake, eat, sleep cycle, fill in your approximate times for feedings and naps. In the beginning we are all likely on an approximate 2.5 hour to 3 hour schedule. If you set a wake time and a bedtime, it’s easy to fill in the middle.
Start a pre-sleep ritual. A 5 minute pre-nap routine and a 30 minute before-bedtime routine is simple, practical and easy to use. A pre-nap ritual could include swaddling the baby, sitting for a bit, singing a short song, and saying your sleepy words (e.g. I love you. I hope you have a good sleep, and I will see you when you wake up). A before-bedtime routine could include a bath, soft music, reading a short story, nursing the baby, and saying your sleepy words. Do what works for you.
You can use these newborn routine and baby routine cards to help create a consistent routine…
Don’t let naps get too long. Sleeping too long of a stretch during the day can rob nighttime sleep. Limit naps to approximately 2 hours during the day. If the baby sleeps past the two hour mark, it is absolutely okay to wake a sleeping baby. If you feel the baby truly needs longer naps, feel free to make adjustments and increase the nap limit to 2.5 hours.
Swaddle. From birth to about age four to five months, a baby possesses the startle reflex, in which the baby actually feels as if he is falling. The sensation of falling causes jerking movements, and the baby will inadvertently wake up. Keeping a tight swaddle prevents babies from startling awake, helping the baby sleep both better and longer.
Create a good sleep environment. Dimming the room by closing the blinds or curtains is great a great place to start. Using a small fan or white noise machine in the room is also helpful if your baby struggles to sleep through noise.
Encourage full feedings. When the baby eats a full meal, it will be easier to make it to the next feeding time. It is also easier for the baby to complete a full nap without waking early due to hunger.
Dreamfeed. Before going to bed, we can pick the baby up without really waking him and give an additional feeding. The dream feed helps prevent the baby from waking up shortly after we moms go to sleep.
3. Start laying the baby down awake…
When you lay the baby down awake, there will likely be some crying involved. Crying should be in no way extreme or long in duration. If your baby is struggling to fall asleep on his own, reassurance and support from mom or dad is really important. Allowing your baby to become very drowsy, yet slightly awake can really help with this process. If your baby is fussing for a long time, it can frequently be attributed to overtired or overstimulation but there are many other disruptions that may be the culprit.
It is common for Babywise parents to start somewhere in the birth to 2 month window. It isn’t necessary to choose before the baby is born; it’s okay to get to know the baby and start when you instinctively think it is best. We started at age 6 weeks.
Lay the baby down for a nap after meeting all of the baby’s needs (fed, changed, etc) and the baby has been awake for a bit and the baby is showing sleepy cues (i.e. a yawn, a fuss, or an eye rub). When my son was getting close to a nap, I would keep stimulation to a minimum. Sometimes I would just walk him around the house for a bit and hum softly.
Then I would take him to his room, close the curtains, place him in his sleep sack or swaddle, turn on the white noise, and hold him for a few minutes. Next, I would say his Sleepy Words…something like ‘I love you. I hope you have a good sleep. I’ll see you when you wake up.’
And finally, I would lay him down. On average, he would fuss from 0-10 minutes. Of course, some days he didn’t fuss at all and some days he fussed for longer. We stayed very, very consistent. And by 3 months there was no fussing before naps or bedtime at all, unless something was off such as travel or overtired or overstimulated.
You can also try ‘shush-pat’: I originally tried ‘Shush-pat’ method from the Baby Whisperer book. After preparing the baby for sleep, you can make a gentle shushing sound and pat your baby’s back while you are holding him. Then lay your baby down drowsy, but awake and continue shushing and pat his side or chest until he falls asleep. This is a great method to help your baby get used the crib.
4. Consistency is key.
This is so important. I stayed home for a few short weeks once I started to set the foundation and provide my son the opportunity to get the hang of it very quickly. This also prevents the baby from falling asleep in your arms or the car when you are out, allowing us to stay on schedule at least until the foundation is set. After the initial two week period, I got a little more adventurous with leaving the house. We can’t stay inside forever, right?!
Beginning to sleep-train using Babywise does involve some work, but the fruits of your labor will undoubtedly pay off. He started sleeping 10+ hours through the night at around four months, which at the time, was a much welcomed change. I hemmed and hawed for a little while about letting go of the night feedings. All babies will regress at some point (i.e. teething, growth spurts, and beyond), and you will be awake during the night feeding the baby once again. In the meantime, it’s okay to give yourself permission to get some much needed rest.
Print your free baby sleep checklist!
This post comes with a free printable baby sleep checklist to help you support longer stretches of sleep for your baby! Plus, when you grab this printable, you’ll get instant access to my free 3-day baby sleep eCourse.
Download Your Free Printable
- Download the checklist. You’ll get the printable straight to your inbox, plus get my Free 3-Day Baby Sleep eCourse!
- Print. Any paper will do the trick, but card stock would be ideal.
- Place it on your refrigerator. Use it as a quick reference and don’t forget a thing!
Want more on baby sleep?
- My Top 10 Newborn Baby Sleep Tips To Help You Get More Sleep
- The Newborn Routine That Will Help Your Baby Fall Asleep Faster
- Top 7 Challenges + Solutions for Parenting a Newborn and Toddler
- 8 Infant Sleep Facts Every Parent Should Know
Resources for baby sleep:
I've created a free email series just for you! If you are struggling with finding a routine, rhythm or schedule, this email series will help you find one that will work for YOUR family. Yes, really. I've seen my sample routines work time and time again for parents. I know it can work for you too.
This free email series will help you:
- Free sample routines for your child
- Best morning routine tips and tricks your kids will actually follow
- All-time favorite parenting hacks for getting more cooperation at bedtime
- Step-by-step guide for using a printable daily schedule with kids
Betty Marlow
Babywise has been magnificent for us!!! I read Dr. Mindell and Dr. Ferber and see a major consistency on routine and schedule. Babies do love schedule and knowing what to expect next. Like we all do. I really don’t believe the thinking that is out there (at some level) that thinks babies should do what they want when they want. And that babies should just be left to create their own schedules and eat whenever they want. I did not find that to work for us at all. And Babywise saved us with making a very kind and easy schedule that we could all count on. Good luck to all you new moms– you will love this method.
Carol Statton
I used Babywise and Happiest Baby on Block and itvworked great for our routine. Babywise was the majority of what I used- eat/play/sleep was everything for us.
Susie:)
We loved Babywise! I give it to all my friends.
Tami Johnson
I just used the new white Babywise version and it is excellent. It is 279 pages, so I am not sure if some of the bad reviews came from prior versions, but this new White cover version was perfect. Helped us get on a great routine and worked flawlessly.
Carrie Simpson
Why is there any confusion about CIO. Babywise is in no way Cry It Out. The author is a pediatrician for decades and he says in the book that your baby’s hunger cues always trumps the clock. He also says in Babywise that moms know best and should trust our instincts. So anybody that calls Babywise CIO simply has NOT read the book.
Dana4care
Thanks, Carrie. For calling this out. That is exactly how I have felt for some time. It is downright silly to try to call Babywise CIO just because it gently teaches a loving schedule. It is so far from rigid. Babywise empowers the mom to use her instincts. It is no way asks the mom to turn off her brain and follow cold orders like a robot. Babywise reminds the mom that she is in charge and her instincts lead the way as you build a loving routine for your baby. Thank you, Carrie, for calling a duck a duck. There is NO cio here.
Carrie Simpson
Glad it helped:):)
Sharon Tucker
God is a God of order. Families function well on order. Dr. Mindell of the Sleep Institute and Dr. Ferber of Harvard & Boston Childrens Hospital attest to the fact babies love order, they relish predictable schedules, and their brains record and learn best on schedules.
This AAP rumor has been erroneously spread for 20 years. The AAP has NEVER warned against or even mentioned Babywise. One rogue doctor who studied in Mexico named Matthew Aney wrote his own personal opinion in 1998. Because he published his opinion in a small abstract magazine called the AAP News, critics of Babywise have pretended and attempted to mislead others since 1998 that Aneys opinion was some formal startement by the AAP. It was not. In the AAP News a month later Aney was completely refuted by 6 medical professionals and pediatricians. That AAP rumor is so tired. Just look on the AAP site for yourself, they have an internal search engine.
Babywise is today the #1 baby sleep guide on earth. Look on Amazon for yourself. Babywise outsells Sears and all attachment parenting books by 500%. And it has been around for 25 years and word of mouth from one mom to another continues to share the success from one family to another.
If you are a new mom, I recommend you observe 3 Babywise families and 3 attachment parenting families. You decide who looks rested, content, and happy and who looks exhausted, tired, and cranky. Choose the method that provides the results you desire. It is a no-brainer!!
Blair
Amen to that last post- Sharon. The truth about Babywise is it is safe and magnificent. Moms that want to do other methods are the ones that criticize it. It is medically backed by hundreds of life long pediatricians.
Jami Luttons
Babywise is the real deal. It is so effective. We loved it with all our babies. My guess is that folks that say it didn’t work either fit a very rare minority where their baby has some very unique needs or they did not implement the methods correctly. Correctly implemented, Babywise works beautifully.
Jeri Taylor
I have had a great experience with Babywise as s breastfeeding mom. Have others done well as Breastfeeding? I have read some have struggled.
Shelly?
My little one has taken to the routine. But still only makes it about 6 hours at night. Any ideas?