Schedule / RoutineSometimes when we start something new, it’s difficult to know where exactly to begin and what exactly to expect. After reading On Becoming Babywise, my husband and I knew we wanted to sleep-train using Babywise, but translating written content into real life application involves a learning curve.
I really fumbled along for quite some time in the beginning trying to figure out all the baby sleep tips and newborn routines. I’ve said before that my son was a challenging sleeper in his early days, and my husband and I spent an awful lot of time troubleshooting. It was far from a perfect process, but I learned and grew as a mother during that time. There are a few basic ideas we can all keep in mind when preparing to start Babywise.
1. Mentally prepare before the baby is born.
As a basic first step, read On Becoming Babywise as a couple and then talk about it together. When both parents are on board, everything runs more smoothly. Here are a few things I try to remind myself, when sleep-training…
- Babies will likely start sleeping longer stretches around 3-4 months.
- Troubleshooting at various points throughout the process is normal!
- Stay committed! You will see results!
- It is always okay to make modifications!
- Set the foundation! It will have positive lasting effects in the future months and years to come!
2. Start the basics at birth.
Last week I talked about my top infant sleep tips, which are just a few easy basics we can start from birth. Today I’d like to expand on that and talk about a few additional basics to help anyone preparing to start Babywise.
If you need to get acclimated for a few weeks before starting the basics that is 100% okay. Don’t stress! I was a nervous, anxious wreck that I wasn’t doing everything right from the beginning. It was a total waste of energy. The one thing that helped ground me during the postpartum period was essential oils. I used Frankincense and Lavender daily to support emotional wellness and Ningxia Red to keep my energy up.
Set a morning wake up time and a bedtime. We want to set the baby’s internal clock to encourage consistent night time sleep. It’s most common to see a 7 am wake time and a 7 pm bedtime. In a newborn, you may have a slightly later bedtime for a short while to help fit in enough feedings. After a few months, bedtime can usually be moved to an earlier time.
Create a basic routine for your day. Using the wake, eat, sleep cycle, fill in your approximate times for feedings and naps. In the beginning we are all likely on an approximate 2.5 hour to 3 hour schedule. If you set a wake time and a bedtime, it’s easy to fill in the middle.
Start a pre-sleep ritual. A 5 minute pre-nap routine and a 30 minute before-bedtime routine is simple, practical and easy to use. A pre-nap ritual could include swaddling the baby, sitting for a bit, singing a short song, and saying your sleepy words (e.g. I love you. I hope you have a good sleep, and I will see you when you wake up). A before-bedtime routine could include a bath, soft music, reading a short story, nursing the baby, and saying your sleepy words. Do what works for you.
You can use these newborn routine and baby routine cards to help create a consistent routine…
Don’t let naps get too long. Sleeping too long of a stretch during the day can rob nighttime sleep. Limit naps to approximately 2 hours during the day. If the baby sleeps past the two hour mark, it is absolutely okay to wake a sleeping baby. If you feel the baby truly needs longer naps, feel free to make adjustments and increase the nap limit to 2.5 hours.
Swaddle. From birth to about age four to five months, a baby possesses the startle reflex, in which the baby actually feels as if he is falling. The sensation of falling causes jerking movements, and the baby will inadvertently wake up. Keeping a tight swaddle prevents babies from startling awake, helping the baby sleep both better and longer.
Create a good sleep environment. Dimming the room by closing the blinds or curtains is great a great place to start. Using a small fan or white noise machine in the room is also helpful if your baby struggles to sleep through noise.
Encourage full feedings. When the baby eats a full meal, it will be easier to make it to the next feeding time. It is also easier for the baby to complete a full nap without waking early due to hunger.
Dreamfeed. Before going to bed, we can pick the baby up without really waking him and give an additional feeding. The dream feed helps prevent the baby from waking up shortly after we moms go to sleep.
3. Start laying the baby down awake…
When you lay the baby down awake, there will likely be some crying involved. Crying should be in no way extreme or long in duration. If your baby is struggling to fall asleep on his own, reassurance and support from mom or dad is really important. Allowing your baby to become very drowsy, yet slightly awake can really help with this process. If your baby is fussing for a long time, it can frequently be attributed to overtired or overstimulation but there are many other disruptions that may be the culprit.
It is common for Babywise parents to start somewhere in the birth to 2 month window. It isn’t necessary to choose before the baby is born; it’s okay to get to know the baby and start when you instinctively think it is best. We started at age 6 weeks.
Lay the baby down for a nap after meeting all of the baby’s needs (fed, changed, etc) and the baby has been awake for a bit and the baby is showing sleepy cues (i.e. a yawn, a fuss, or an eye rub). When my son was getting close to a nap, I would keep stimulation to a minimum. Sometimes I would just walk him around the house for a bit and hum softly.
Then I would take him to his room, close the curtains, place him in his sleep sack or swaddle, turn on the white noise, and hold him for a few minutes. Next, I would say his Sleepy Words…something like ‘I love you. I hope you have a good sleep. I’ll see you when you wake up.’
And finally, I would lay him down. On average, he would fuss from 0-10 minutes. Of course, some days he didn’t fuss at all and some days he fussed for longer. We stayed very, very consistent. And by 3 months there was no fussing before naps or bedtime at all, unless something was off such as travel or overtired or overstimulated.
You can also try ‘shush-pat’: I originally tried ‘Shush-pat’ method from the Baby Whisperer book. After preparing the baby for sleep, you can make a gentle shushing sound and pat your baby’s back while you are holding him. Then lay your baby down drowsy, but awake and continue shushing and pat his side or chest until he falls asleep. This is a great method to help your baby get used the crib.
4. Consistency is key.
This is so important. I stayed home for a few short weeks once I started to set the foundation and provide my son the opportunity to get the hang of it very quickly. This also prevents the baby from falling asleep in your arms or the car when you are out, allowing us to stay on schedule at least until the foundation is set. After the initial two week period, I got a little more adventurous with leaving the house. We can’t stay inside forever, right?!
Beginning to sleep-train using Babywise does involve some work, but the fruits of your labor will undoubtedly pay off. He started sleeping 10+ hours through the night at around four months, which at the time, was a much welcomed change. I hemmed and hawed for a little while about letting go of the night feedings. All babies will regress at some point (i.e. teething, growth spurts, and beyond), and you will be awake during the night feeding the baby once again. In the meantime, it’s okay to give yourself permission to get some much needed rest.
Want more on baby sleep?
- My Top 10 Newborn Baby Sleep Tips To Help You Get More Sleep
- The Newborn Routine That Will Help Your Baby Fall Asleep Faster
- Top 7 Challenges + Solutions for Parenting a Newborn and Toddler
- 8 Infant Sleep Facts Every Parent Should Know
Resources for baby sleep:
I love Babywise. Reading your “about me” page, I see our sons were both born in the same month too. We didn’t use Babywise the first time around but I am sure glad we did this time. People are always surprised to learn that my little guy sleeps through the night and that we don’t rock or cuddle to sleep.
Thank you for visiting and for sharing your love for Babywise. It’s always so encouraging to see other moms united in Babywise!
We used Babywise for all three of our babies and I’m so glad we did! Our children were all sleeping through the night much earlier than our friend’s babies! Boy, was I thankful for the extra sleep 🙂 Thanks for sharing! I will pass this on to friends who need it 🙂
Thanks Missy! Sleep training has definitely been a life-saver for our family! 😀 And thank you for sharing!
This is baby four for me. And my first two were horrible sleepers. I heard about the eat wake sleep cycle and tried it with my third. But I didn’t know to much about it. He definately sleeps better then the older two did. Someone recommended me the baby wise. I think I understand it to the most part. I pray she sleeps by four months. My oldest started sleeping by two I was exhausted. My second was 18 months. And my third age one. Prayers for this momma.
I am a mother of two (7 year old and a 4 year old) with a baby on the way. This has helped me so much. I struggled with both children to sleep through the night and was searching for a way to prevent this from happening again. I believe this will work for us!
I truly hope that this helps your new baby sleep better! Sleep really is a tough thing to navigate sometimes. If you have questions (I know the post is kind of basic) along the way, I’d do my best to answer them! Thanks for visiting!
Help ! My baby is now 5 months old and on no schedule at all, how do I start one when she is this old?
Ok, well I definitely think it’s doable! It may take a bit of time to transition depending on what a typical day may look like for you. But simply put it is very likely your little one could be on a 4 hour schedule. I can email you as sample schedule and some suggestions for transitioning to that schedule as well as provide you with some resources to help you make adjustments to meet both your baby and family’s needs!
Could you please email me that info as well? My son is 4 months and was sleeping great, waking up only once in the night. But the last week or so he has regressed and I’m exhausted! Would love to see what your schedule looks like and some tips on how to transition to it!
Ok, Leane. I am going to email you a few links to working through 4 month sleep regression and links to more sample schedules. We experienced sleep regression at 4 months mainly because of movement. My son could roll over and he did so incessently. He would often spit up after night feedings because of the rolling, which caused a huge mess. After a while though, things settled in and he became a tummy sleeper on his own accord. (I always laid him down on his back to sleep). While sleeping on his tummy he was also able to have better access to thumb sucking and those two things (tummy and thumb) were what eventually helped him sleep through the night. Basically, better access to his “sleep tools.”
Hello Lauren, my daughter is almost 6 mths old and go to bed at 21:30, wake up for milk (breastfeeding) at around 02:30~03:00, then another 3 hours sleep. What I can do to make her to sleep longer?
Thank you for your advice!
I would say, she definitely needs an earlier bedtime. 8 pm is the latest I would go for a 6 month old. Babies who go to bed later with experience more night waking and wake earlier in the morning. This is true for kids of all ages. So I would move her bedtime back by 15 minutes each night until you reach 8 pm at a minimum. And then once you are in a good rhythm and sleep routine, I would focus on allowing your daughter to put herself to sleep.
Kimgarbison@gmail.com
I would love info !! Thanks !!!!
Hi! Could you email me as well! I followed baby wise with my 1st and he is an amazing sleeper. I tried with my now 5 month old but it’s been more difficult. He was able to put himself to sleep with “sh/pat” but now he’s waking up multiple times. I’m thinking i need to do CIO and wondering if this is my only option? I’m nervous!! He also rolls now and had to take him out of swaddle. The first few night he rolled on belly and slept through the night. Now he tends to roll back to his back and wake himself up. Ugh. Any advice would be appreciated!!
Thanks,
Kassie
Hi Lauren! Just stumbled upon your blog and this post and find it very helpful. My husband and I are both active duty military and have a 10 month old boy who still won’t sleep more than a 4 or 5 hour stretch. Crying it out quickly leads to vomiting even with reassurance. Any tips? 🙂
That really a tough one. I would first make sure you have a good schedule and good bedtime routines. You may already be doing this, but if not, I have 2 posts you may find helpful. https://themilitarywifeandmom.com/find-baby-sleep-schedule-works/ and https://themilitarywifeandmom.com/establishing-good-bedtime-routine/. Vomiting is awful. I really empathize with you and your sweet baby. We don’t want to do anything extreme. Are you staying with your baby or going in and out of the room? You could try “pick up, put down” which is a method from the Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems. Have you heard of it? Basically, after getting a good schedule and a good bedtime routine down for a few weeks, you would lay your baby down. Staying in the room with him, every time he stands up, you simply lay him back down and gently remind him to go to sleep. If your son is experiencing a lot of separation anxiety, staying in the room the entire time may help. I know this sounds oversimplified, but Tracy Hogg’s book is very helpful if you are looking for more information. There is a good chance tears will be involved, and from everything I’ve read can take up to a week+ to start seeing substantial results. If your son doesn’t do well with this, it is 100% okay to stop and simply help him get back to sleep in whatever way you need to right now. Developmentally this may not be the right time for him. Every baby is different. You can always try again at a later date with teaching independent sleep. But the schedule and routines are totally tear free and they can certainly help a lot. I hope this helps.
Lauren
Hi!! I have loved reading your blog. My baby is only 3 Weeks old. Anything I can or should be doing now? His long stretches of sleep have been during the day and nighttime he has been awake for as long as 4-5 hours. I am so tired!! Tips??
I would start breaking up his sleep during the day, keeping naps to only 2 hours. If he is still asleep after a 2 hour nap, I would go ahead and wake him. My baby sleep eBook is free until Christmas for subscribers and it has TONS of stuff you can start today to improve sleep! I would recommend putting him on the 2.5 hour schedule probably right around now. Here is the link
We have my son on a 3 hour schedule and are starting to introducing this method. What’s your advice if he cries and fusses through until his next feeding time without sleeping?
If he fusses for a short while and you try to resettle him and he continues to fuss or he isn’t able to fall asleep, I would simply get him up. If he is hungry before his next approximate feeding time, I would feed him early or fit in an additional feeding. If he is fussing in the late afternoon, evening time…that is a very fussy time for babies and he may not take a good nap during that time. He may want to cluster feed as frequently as every hour. That is totally normal. The schedule is flexible and always feel good offering another feeding when needed. Overall, you are simply looking to create a pattern the majority of the time so if it’s not perfect that is totally normal. We just kept plugging along as best we good.
Hi. I was wondering if you had any suggestions for my son who is nine months old. We have a routine, he goes to sleep on his own, but he is still waking up at least twice during the night. I tried slowly decreasing the length of time spent nursing him to drop a feeding, and he just added another feeding at a different time! Little stinker 🙂 thanks!
Okay. This is the link to all my posts on sleep 🙂 https://themilitarywifeandmom.com/category/parenting/baby/baby-sleep/. You will likely need to copy the URL and put it in your web browser. If you believe that he is hungry, I would go ahead and offer a full night feeding. Once is better than twice. In the mean time, I would try to make sure he is getting enough during the day and perhaps squeeze in an additional feeding during the day if you think you can. It may or may not help. By now he should be taking solids reasonable well, and I would try things like meat, cheese, healthy fats to make sure he is getting enough. That way if you want to try and drop a night feeding you will feel more confident that hunger isn’t an issue. I would say that by 9 months it is fairly reasonable to expect him to sleep through if he is healthy and developing normally (you can of course double check with your MD). In the sleep series link I shared above, look for the posts talking about sleep disruptions and habitual waking. Also, once you feel confident that this isn’t a hunger issue, you could try for 3-4 days to be very consistent going to him during night wakings but not offering food. Again though, I always fed my baby when he was hungry…so you are the only one who can really make that judgement call 🙂 Hope this helps. Feel free to email me at themilitarywifeandmom at gmail dot com if you have more questions.
Hey!
great post, just wondering if you have any suggestions for someone who has an irregular schedule. my days off vary each week and the only thing I really know is that I work weekends 9-5 and weekdays 2-11. I would train my sitter on how put my LO down but I’m not sure if it works great when I have to wake my babe up at 1130p on weekdays to bring him home then get him up early by 8 am on weekends to get him to his sitter. I’m a single mom and he was a great sleeper when I was home with him but being back to work it’s awful now.
Thanks!
Oh, I wish I did. I would say keep following the eat, wake, sleep cycle. The can be lose and flexible and your schedule may need to change day to day. Let’s be realistic, right? You have to work with the schedule and life that you have. Outside of the eat, wake, sleep cycle, I would aim to help her fall asleep on her own as much as possible. Easier said than done though. This may be helpful to read: https://themilitarywifeandmom.com/3-important-goals-consider-baby-sleep-training/
I love this post. I’m curious if your little one was breastfed or formula fed when implementing eat, awake sleep cycle? I’m exclusively breastfeeding and attempting to start the eat awake sleep cycle. We are on a two hour sleep schedule along with a wake up time of 7 am and nap time ritual of swaddling, sleepy time words, changing diapers and drawing the curtains. We also are doing full feeds very well. We have a semi night time round of bath every other day but baby massage everyday, with a general bedtime of around 10-11 pm. My little one just struggles with putting himself to sleep when tired, so I will use his swing or rock him or even let him sleep on me.