It’s kinda funny how motherhood is often portrayed at the most joyous time in your life. There are so many moments filled with abundant joy. Truly, there are!! But there are also moments that are really, really tough. Moments filled with frustration and anger.
Maybe you feel pretty happy as a mom right now. Or maybe you don’t. Let’s face it there are certain times in the journey of motherhood that are unhappy. That’s okay. I relate to that so much because I’ve been there. I’ve felt frustrated and angry, and when it comes down to it, there are often common causes of unhappiness in motherhood that resonate across the board.
So here are a few effective ways to help you feel like a happy mom again:
Learn your value.
You are a personal chef with clients consisting of picky eaters. You are the most encouraging head cheerleader. You are the kisser of boo-boos and mender of broken hearts. You are a maid, taxi driver and hair stylist. You are the keeper of secrets, family therapist and greatest teacher your child will ever know. You are a toy repair expert, finance manager and separation anxiety counselor. You are a caretaker, night waking specialist and ultimate multi-tasker.
And you just happen to be a superhero who wears yoga pants instead of a cape.
You are amazing and your family couldn’t do it without you. So as a mom, you need to know our value. You need to know that even when it doesn’t feel like you are doing something important and valuable, you are.
Every boo-boo kissed and story read and meal created matters in the long run. It all adds up to create and develop a strong and loving bond with your children. The closer you bring them in, the further they will branch out, feel secure and succeed. Hooray for that!
Expect reward and praise to come from within.
I know you might desire someone—just someone—to say, “Hey thanks for doing that.” Or “You’re a really great mom.” I know I do! But it doesn’t always happen that way. It’s totally normal to desire affirmation from others, but ultimately you and I need to allow happiness to come from within when it doesn’t come from others.
It’s okay to stand proud and say I’m doing a dang fine job around here! It’s okay to make a list of things you accomplished each day and feel proud of that. There are some days when I like to write on the mirror after I take a shower. I usually write…I am enough. It sounds dumb. Don’t laugh. But sometimes we all need to remind ourselves that things are good. That we are fortunate. And that we are enough for our sweet, sweet babies.
Writing that reminds me that, no matter what, trying my hardest as a mom means something. It means that even when your child says mean things or acts out behaviorally, you are still doing a good job. From good days to bad days, expecting reward and praise to come from within can make a huge impact on your happiness as a mom.
Improve communication with others.
Sometimes you just need to raise your hand and say I need help. Maybe it’s just me (and I hate to make generalizations about the male species) but I believe men thrive on direct communication. Guys love it when you to tell them, “Hey here are 5 things I need you to help me with today. This will make me a really happy wife.”
Bam.
You tell them the problem and you offer them a solution to fix it. Sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn’t. But I find my husband appreciates the direct commuincation far more than the mind-reading game I like to play from time to time.
So, when you communicate directly with your husband (or anyone really), it helps others know how to meet your needs, keep your tank full, and help you feel happier overall. A win-win!
Take your recharge.
A huge part of feeling happy as a mom is remembering to take time for yourself. This, of course, is not always an easy thing to do. Life isn’t typically raining babysitters that you trust and feel comfortable leaving your kids with. But every now and again, it’s imperative to take some time to recharge. I think we’ve all be there. It’s the moment when you just hit your breaking point.
This may mean you get up before your kids wake up each morning, taking a few hours to emotionally center and get organized for the day. This may mean you teach your kids how to play independently for an hour each day so you can have a sanity break. Or this may mean you need to take a mom vacation and get away for an afternoon or an overnight trip. A little recharge goes a long way when it comes to a mother’s happiness, and it’s okay to ask for help so you can take that small bit of time.
Keep tangible memories of the thank yous.
One of the things that can bring us back to center is to actually keep a journal of the really good motherhood memories. When something great happens between you and your kids, write it down in a journal. When your child makes something special for you, take a picture and tuck it away for a day when things aren’t going so hot. Motherhood can feel like a thankless job sometimes. Okay. Okay. A lot of days. That’s why it’s important to hang onto those thank yous and sweet moments when they happen. They remind us of what being a mom is all about. They remind us all that, at the end of the day, it really is worth it.
Every mommy I need you, every cuddle, every kiss—yep, it’s all worth it.
Want more on motherhood?
- 30 Inspirational Quotes for Moms
- Best Essential Oil Uses for Tired and Stressed Moms
- 15 Easy Ways to be a Healthy Moms
What’s your best tip feel like a happy mom? Let’s chat in the comments!
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