We are working diligently to correct a few bad habits (lots of food throwing and dropping on the floor!) and we are spending a good amount of time each day teaching early table manners.
Per usual, I never think it’s too early to start with boundaries and manners. In fact, I wish I would’ve been a little more diligent as a parent and started a little bit sooner.
My son is 12 months old, and while I wish we would’ve started earlier, I do think one year of age is a fine and dandy place to start!
Here are a few ways teaching early table manners can become part of everyday obedience at the breakfast, lunch and dinner table:
1. Start with please and thank you.
Using please and thank you all the time at the table is a great starting point. As parents, sometimes we aren’t in the good habit of saying please and thank you all the time, but the more we use our manners, the more likely young children will learn and understand the words.
Overusing please and thank you is a very good thing!
2. Teach signs for please and thank you.
I’m going to be the first to admit, we haven’t been very intentional with teaching baby sign language, but sign language has enormous value for little ones who aren’t able to verbally communicate well.
Using signs for please and thank you offers your child a way to communicate with the rest of the family. It also allows young children to feel included in the process, and it also increases the likelihood they will use please and thank you too.
3. Encourage use of dinnerware.
This is another area, I hope to start with soon. Until now, I’ve avoided the use of plates and bowls out of fear that my son will just flip it onto the ground. I’m learning that it’s healthy and positive to use a plate and bowl from an early age.
As parents, if we are patient enough, we can teach our little ones to have enough self-control to use a bowl or plate without tipping. Temporarily removing the bowl or plate if your child starts playing is appropriate. Then offer the food again and see if he will use the bowl or plate obediently (i.e. without tipping or playing).
If a child is old enough to walk, you can even start encouraging and helping him carry his dishes to the sink! I love this idea!
4. Encourage a happy spirit.
Like I’ve said before, I believe parents have the power to encourage a good attitude in their children from a very young age.
Please and thank you are appreciated, but a happy spirit is usually encouraged. We also require a happy spirit before removing him from his high chair. No whining in order to get down. This is something we are currently doing, and it’s working really well.
5. A few words about throwing and dropping food.
When noticing poor manners, such a throwing or dropping food, it’s okay to either remove the food or remove the child from his high chair. We can teach young children to learn self-control and obedience at the dinner table. Will they be 100% perfect? Of course not, but it’s reasonable to expect good manners a decent amount of time.
When food throwing or dropping gets out of hand, it’s important to let kids know it’s not okay. We can communicate this to them by verbally communicating and by removing the food from the high chair or by removing the child from the high chair.
6. Model good behavior and manners.
Saying one thing and doing another, only confuses our children, and encourages disobedience. As parents we can model the exact behavior we want our children to embody, as a way of teaching manners. If you don’t want elbows on the table, then model the same behavior yourself. Simply put, be the adult you want your child to be.
Starting early with table manners is both practical and purposeful for teaching boundaries at the dinner table. Getting started is reliant on a strong and patient effort from parents, and as always, consistency will yield the most rewarding results!
I used to sign please and thank you a lot to my older daughter when she had just turned one. Now, I’m a bit lax, but it still surprises me when she does the sign (she always says the word with the sign, too) for either one. She says it so nice and sweet! I also taught her the sign for wait, and when she’s being impatient for food, I’ll tell her to please wait and then I’ll do the sign. She’ll then sign back, wait, and say it. It gives me about 5 seconds, and then she’s back to whining. At least she’s showing that she understands what it means! I couldn’t agree more with all of these!
I love the idea of signing ‘wait.’ That’s such a helpful idea. My son is terrible about whining for food sometimes that we are really working on it. The signs he does know, he uses all the time, so it’s obvious to me that he is able to understand a lot at this point.
I really love reading your blog. Seriously Lauren! You have such great stuff. We are working with our 17 month old on better table manners and this was a great post to help me out and to be more dilligent on my end with teaching him manners. He’s using a spoon and fork much more lately and is doing a great job. We also ditched the high chair officially already and he just eats at the table with the rest of us, no booster seat either. And he sits so well! He does throw his food if it isn’t what he wants though. *sigh*
Thank you Katelyn. You are always so encouraging, and it really helps keep a small blogger feel happy 🙂 Throwing food is a tough thing to work through. It’s a work in progress in our house, and like everything in parenting, if you are consistent and try hard enough, results will start to happen eventually.
Lauren,
Another awesome post, as usual you’re providing great, useful tips in an approachable way.
Love the new layout on the homepage! I also wanted to ask you what plugin you use for your facebook popup. Thinking of trying something similar!
I think it’s called ‘Conversions Box’ Try searching via Google for FB conversions box and I believe it will come up. Interestingly, it is not a plug in.
This is super important. We started teaching my girls as soon as they began eating.
I think it really helps when you start at an early age!
This is so true! Always great stuff. Thanks, Lauren!! Also liked the Facebook popup. I will google it!!
Ha! Just tried it (conversion box) and it worked!! Thank you, Lauren, for not only great article but some good tips!
That’s awesome! It’s kind of cool little tool, isn’t it?
I am picking this one as our featured pin this week- I think its great advice! 🙂 Thanks for sharing!
Oh my! That’s so exciting Becky! You made my whole week!