Raising KidsIt’s only natural for every parent of a young child to have that moment where you realize your baby just turned into a little person. They have a mind of their own. They want to do things their own way. You take a step back and notice that things could quickly start to spiral out of control. The saying “Oh that’s just what babies do” is soon to turn into a very disobedient toddler.
Setting boundaries matters to both children and parents. In fact, it matters to everyone that interacts with you and your kids.
If you have a little one at home and are wondering if you should start some sort of boundaries, the easy answer is yes. Starting from the beginning matters…
1. Childrearing becomes easier on you.
We create barriers steel barricades to our own parenting by offering our child complete freedom to be selfish, willful, and self-centered, then suddenly, a few years later, to change it up expect respect, consideration, and self-control.
2. Childrearing becomes easier on your child.
Kinder and wiser we are, as parents, to set boundaries from the outset. No big shock to the system. Your child will avoid feelings of betrayal because you won’t be changing the rules all of a sudden one day. Understanding expectations and limits from the beginning enables your child to have more confidence and trust in you as a parent.
3. What is cute now, won’t be cute later.
Often babies or pre-toddlers do things, and we may think or say, ‘Oh, he’s just a baby.’ Unfortunately in no time at all the baby will become a toddler, and what they are doing will no longer be ‘Oh, he’s just a baby.’ Instead, it will be ‘Wow. He’s a wild toddler.’ Is there something you allow your baby to do that you would never envision him doing at age 3 or 5 or 7? This is a great opportunity to start thinking about early boundaries.
4. The foundation set today will have lasting future effects.
If you start early, you are encouraging your child to embrace behaviors you like. Every correct, helpful, positive characteristic will now have an opportunity to shine through. Starting the basics, enables both parents and children to build on cooperation over time.
5. There is no need to go to extremes.
While I do think boundaries early is important, there is no reason to go to extremes. Boundaries are not baby bootcamp, nor is it an all-day affair. There is no reason to expect only behaviors you like. In fact, you should expect a lot of behaviors you don’t like for quite a while. Importantly though, you can teach a few basic boundary concepts starting at 6-12 months without going to extremes.
6. Children are always learning.
Children are always learning at all ages. It’s important to teach our children what we want them to learn, rather than allowing them to learn by default. Or worse, to allow them to teach themselves. It is much harder to undo a child’s default learning than it is to teach them from the get go.
7. Younger children are more impressionable.
Easier to shape, younger children are amazing sponges for early boundaries. The process is more enjoyable to them, not stressful. Children are also far less willful at younger ages, making it easier for you to understand them and teach them. Young children also are more focused on you. They need and want you more, making it easier to motivate with both praise and corrections.
If you’ve been thinking about starting early boundaries, you have a fabulous opportunity to start teaching your child from a very young age. The investment you make today in your child will pay off (with interest) in the long term.
Love this! I have several friends who I think think we are crazy that we ask for obedience or train our kids at such a young age. But it’s such an important thing. Glad to know there are still other parents out there that do this!
I completely agree! I’m not a crazy mom for expecting obedience or using correction at a young age, as long as it is age and developmentally appropriate 🙂
I love this!! Thanks for sharing:)
Thank you for your encouragement and for visiting!
I need lots of help in this department! I have been focusing a lot on what the baby needs, so the 2-year-old does a lot of stuff and gets away with it. However, she can be very obedient some days. It all depends with her!
It’s tough to know when to start and what are realistic expectations for our little ones, isn’t it?! I think at the end of the day, we are all doing the best we can! 😀
I couldn’t agree more! Especially with #3 and #4! I think many parents now a days are wanting to be friends with their children, which is great. But, you have to remember to teach them that you are an adult figure who should be respected as well. So happy you shared this with the NEW #PinFest!
You are right, Chelsea. It’s so important to encourage a healthy parent-child relationship!
OH I totally agree with this! This is pretty much exactly what we did with my now 3.5 year old and he is probably the best little guy I could have asked for! Stopping in from the link up.
I’m so encouraged that you had success with early obedience. It is my hope that we will enjoy the fruits of our labor down the road!
As a mom of a 8-month-old, this is something I have started thinking about, especially this morning as she was screaming. She had just had breakfast and was watching me make her lunch, so I think she may have been annoyed that I wasn’t giving her more to eat. I don’t want to inadvertently reinforce screaming to get what she wants, but at such a young age it’s so hard to know if they are doing this solely because they are pissed off and/or want your attention, or if they legitimately need something. I look forward to reading the follow up post next week!
Thanks for stopping by again, Bev! I definitely agree, it can be hard to differentiate sometimes. One of the things I do is wait until my son has a happy spirit before I give him what he wants. It’s really important to me that he learns to ask for things or get attention in a nice way, rather than just whining, screaming or crying. I think it’s awesome that you are already thinking about this stuff! I definitely think it’s going to make a difference!
Yes, yes, yes! Discipline is a gift that we give our children. I think that when we balance high expectations with responsiveness to kids’ needs, they grow to be both confident and compassionate. Thanks for linking up at HDYDI’s parenting linkup!
Confident and compassion are two great characteristics I hope we are able to instill in our son. Obedience is a work in progress, but it certainly has enormous value in the beginning. Thanks for stopping by!
Thanks for this. I so much agree. In Filipino, we have a saying that talks about comparing a child into a younger tree trunk to be straightened for if gets older, it would be difficult to do so..:)
Thanks Joy! I’m right there with you!
Lauren
I have 5 children ranging in ages 10-2, and I’ve been implementing this concept from the beginning of my parenting journey. I based my convictions strictly upon Biblical principles, and I wanted to chime in and say how much of a blessing this has been in our lives. Not just for my husband and I, but for my children as well. Our relationship with our children is wonderful, and for my older ones instead of focusing on obedience, we can now instruct & teach them in the ways of the Lord without having this issue of obedience hanging over our heads. It’s not perfect, but I can see how if we didn’t instill that one important aspect into our children, we’d have an even more difficult time with the children now.
I will say it takes time and effort; you won’t see results right away especially with willful children. However, the long term benefits are so worth all the work, and as I stated before, my children are reaping blessing from this as well. Blessings! 🙂
Thanks for your encouragement!