Mom Life
Note: I apologize to everyone in advance who loves holiday traditions. I’m probably the only one who doesn’t do traditions.
The holidays are fast approaching and you may find yourself dreaming about green bean casserole, black Friday, toddler stocking stuffers or turning on some Bing Crosby to get the holiday mojo going. It’s hard not to notice all the holiday traditions going on around the world with headlines like these popping up around the web and in my newsfeed.
— 10 Holiday Traditions to Start This Year
— Holiday Traditions to Do With Your Kids
— Why Everyone Needs a Holiday Tradition
— How to Keep Your Holiday Traditions Alive
After seeing all these posts, it got me thinking about what holiday traditions we have. And then I realized, we don’t have any. Aside from putting up the tree, we do not have a single one. Even more shocking—I don’t even intend to start any this year. You might think I’m a scrooge for not having a single holiday tradition, but I don’t think it’s a bad thing.
Related: 30 DIY Xmas Games That’ll Keep Kids Occupied and Mom Happy
Don’t get me wrong holiday traditions are fabulous and help the holidays feel extra special and comforting for many, but your season won’t be any less joyful or merry without them.
Here’s why you can skip the holiday traditions if it suits your fancy:
You get to be whimsical with gift giving.
You see, no one expects that I’m going to give them the best gift ever. No one even expects a gift from me. We buy gifts that we really like when it suits the person well and avoid the obligation of giving a hum-ho-not-well-thought-out gift just for the sake of gift giving traditions.
You can skip that horrible recipe you used last year.
I’m so over green bean casserole. Nothing says Christmas like a can of Campbell’s condensed cream of mushroom soup over frozen green beans topped with fake fried French onion pieces. Seriously, are those even real onions?
Let’s all just admit that some of these ‘traditional’ recipes may be better off as a distant memory. I apologize to anyone who likes green bean casserole. I really don’t mind it, but it’s not the world’s greatest side dish either.
You can be late or not show up at all.
People have low expectations when you don’t follow traditions the normal family way. They just assume that you may or may not be there. Each year I see my parents over the holidays on a different day. There is no expectation for me to show up on Christmas morning at 10 am sharp. Hooray for that!
If you don’t feel like it, you just don’t do it.
If you want to listen to Bing Crosby’s It’s a White Christmas while you put up the tree and drink a cup of hot cocoa, by all means, you should. But if this year you really don’t feel like it, you don’t have to. Just sayin’
You can skip the crummy white elephant gifts.
I’m down with all the white elephant gifts, but sometimes it’s a real drag. Why do I have to go out and waste $5 on a bum gift just so you can give me a $5 bum gift back. Getting toilet paper or an ugly sweater is sorta funny until 10 years goes by and you realize you have 50 bucks worth of added junk sitting around.
You avoid the horrors of black Friday.
Personally, I don’t get the whole black Friday holiday shopping tradition. I cannot think of anything less holiday-esque than getting trampled by some possessed shopper at Wal-mart or standing in line for 3 hours just to buy a Blu-Ray player for 50 percent off. C’mon, you know it’s true! There’s always some over-sensationalized video on the news each year about shoppers being injured on black Friday. I’d much rather just shop on Amazon and use a coupon code. Maybe that’s just me.
No one has to endure my caroling voice.
I’m the first one to admit, I have a singing voice best reserved for the shower. I’m basically sparing everyone the not-so-Christmas-cheery voice that I have 🙂
You can skip Elf on the Shelf.
Oh mercy. Last week there was this totally awesome article called Why We Are Never Ever Doing Elf on the Shelf. Pretty much explains why skipping that tradition might be the best decision ever.
It keeps things new and exciting.
Each year we get to do something different. We get to make it our own little unique Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s. We get to travel to different locations and enjoy a new experience.
We cook different foods, participate in different activities and share in the holidays with a variety of friends and family.
It’s way more flexible (and whimsy too).
For as type A, scheduled, and routine oriented as I am (yes, I know I have a problem), the holidays are actually a pretty whimsy time for me.
I’m laid back and relaxed. No need to muss or fuss over doing a little tradition. If we get to do a fun tradition for more than one year in a row, that’s great. If not, no worries.
No one’s disappointed.
No one’s got their heart set on doing things a certain way. We aren’t obligated to do a certain activity to make our holiday season feel just perfect, special or just right. Keeping expectations low keeps everyone a little bit happier. When we actually do a fun activity or get up at 5 am to open presents, it is a pretty exciting time.
Less work overall.
The holidays are an incredibly busy time, so it helps not to worry about making time for a specific tradition every year. There is no additional items to check off on my to-do list. Personally, I don’t feel the need to add to the stress. Doing fewer traditions makes the holidays feel a bit simpler.
And finally, just less pressure overall.
I’m totally not as fun as other moms. I’m actually pretty boring. I kind of just let the holidays fall how they may. It’s less pressure than worrying about baking 5 batches of cookies for the cookie exchange I’m obligated to do. It’s less pressure than worrying about knocking on doors to go caroling. It’s less pressure than worrying about decorating the tree exactly the same way each year. You get the idea.
So I know I’m probably the only one who doesn’t do holiday traditions. It doesn’t mean we don’t get festive around here. It simply means we don’t do the same thing every year. You can have a successful Thanksgiving, Christmas or New Year’s without traditions. I’m living proof.
If you skip holiday traditions, please tell me in the comments so I know I’m not the only one 🙂
Want more totally awesome holiday posts?
I have found that moving a few years ago REALLY messed us up. I still feel a little lost, even though this is our fourth Christmas here. It’s hard when you’re not by family. We try to make do. 🙂
I agree, and we do different things each year, but it’s still a lot of fun for us 😀
I think while your baby is still pretty young, that holiday traditions are kind of overrated. And I do get what your saying about just going with the flow. No set day to get the tree up and decorated by, or for all the shopping to get done. When you aren’t held to a set expectation, it means less disappointment during the holiday, especially if so and so gets sick on Christmas Eve and you don’t go out caroling like you had planned all year.. Obviously, you’re still for making them magical, but just not in a forced tradition sort of way.
Growing up we had very, very few family traditions. And while it was nice in some ways, i have to disagree and say I am totally jealous of families that have awesome traditions (and all year, not just for Christmas – sometimes we seem to focus too much on just this holiday for traditions).
I am thinking we may end up introducing more traditions and creating them year round as J gets a bit older and hopefully as our family grows. I agree with you though, traditions aren’t just for holidays, and I dream of the day when we have family game night once a week or eat a certain breakfast every Saturday morning, and so many things well beyond that.
Oh man, I LOOOOVE me some green bean casserole. I look forward to that stuff all year! But I totally agree with the whole “no pressure” attitude. There’s a whole lot of holiday guilt that often comes with those traditions, that’s for sure. Way to find a philosophy that helps you stay sane! =)
I knew dissing the green bean casserole was totally controversial. My husband was like…”I can’t believe you wrote that. People are gonna be mad.” Oh my. I knew not everyone would love this post, but I had a lot of fun writing it. AND not doing traditions doesn’t mean that we aren’t’ totally into Christmas and enjoy doing tons of special stuff. We just don’t do the same thing every year.
LOL, guess what I was asked to bring on Thanksgiving ;D. At least I make the 100 Days of Real Food recipe ~ no cans of anything 🙂 We don’t have many set traditions either. Every year we try to switch where we go (East WI vs West WI) and some years we don’t. Oh well. We’ve been getting our real tree from the same place, but this year we might go with a fake tree since we may not be home to take care of a real one. The girls don’t have many expectations.
Pahaha. I knew I would ruffle some feathers by dissing green bean casserole. Everyone LOVES that dish! It’s possible we will start some holiday traditions as Jameson gets older and our family grows (hopefully). Who knows? I personally find it equally as festive, yet much less stressful!
Thank you. I love my family, friends, parties and all of that stuff but I just don’t get into the tradition thing. My oldest son just turned 16 and my daughter is 12-they don’t really expect traditional anything out of me but they do like it to be festive-SO, we try to go out and experience whatever might be going on locally. My husband is very traditional and grew up with the strict “This is when and HOW we do Christmas,and that is that”. I just think, if it is forced it loses its magic. He is slowly, and I think happily, getting away from that mentality…although his is more food-based than anything. He has to have turkey on Thanksgiving but anything else we do or don’t do is ok. lol I feel this same way about weddings, funerals, graduations, birthday parties, etc. I think maybe people think I am selfish but really, I am just trying to live my life and show my kids that, while it can be good to be apart of all of these things, you ALWAYS have a choice. I don’t expect or judge others for doing it their way and I hope they don’t judge me in return. I agree with you that it is equally festive and maybe MORE so because there is less stress.
Hey Heather! Keeping life simple and flexible adds so much fun to everything for our family. We can kinda just go with the flow, if you know what I mean. We have tons of fun baking cookies, attending holiday parties, singing Christmas songs, decorating, etc. We love it all. We just do things a little bit different each year. I love that we get to do something a little new and fresh each year. It’s great to know I’m not the only one!! I think it’s awesome that you are teaching your kids that you always have a choice. And yes, sometimes it is even MORE festive! Have a wonderful holiday season, Heather! It was great to hear from you!
Lauren
Both my husband and I are very laid back and fairly flexible about most things, including the holidays. I really like singing and music, so my poor son and husband will just have to endure my Christmas carols throughout the month of December (although they are used to my singing during the rest of the year). I love children’s books (I was a teacher), so I always make sure to have all of my holiday books out. I also like when the house is all festive and decorative. I’m not so strict as to make sure everything is exactly the same each year. For instance, we didn’t even get our tree up until Christmas eve last year (my excuse is that we were seriously sleep-deprived with a 4 month old). As my son (and eventually more kids) gets older, I’m sure more traditions will fall into place. As a former teacher, I know children crave consistency and routine. Children love being able to anticipate fun traditions year after year (even if they aren’t elaborate). I think pinterest can make the holiday season feel a little overwhelming. I think you’re right in that it’s okay to not go all out every year. Every family can decide what makes the holiday season special to them.
I LOVE your feedback! And for as schedule and routine oriented as I am, you’d think we would have a ton of traditions. You’re right though, I’m sure as J gets older and our family grows, traditions will find a way into our home and make each year special for us as a family. But if you don’t do traditions, I think you can still have a really festive and fun holiday season. Thanks for stopping by Tricia.
Lauren
I really resonated with your article and am glad I came across it. I am trying to not feel guilt or shame for not caring too much about “traditions”, but I suppose I’m not a very traditional person in the least. Thank you for your courage, authenticity and example. It’s inspiring, liberating and super empowering!